Second Saga: With this ring...
by Nabiki GMYW
Summary: No wedding has ever gone smoothly, and this one's no different, especially if the Lord of Avalon is out to crash the party.


****

With this ring…

By: Nabiki GMYW

Brief summary: No wedding has ever gone smoothly, and this one's no different… Especially if the Lord of Avalon is out to crash the party.

Disclaimer: Sadly, Gargoyles belong to Disney, and I'm a poor nobody who's doing this for kicks. Pathetic, aren't I? Comes right after 'Faerie Tale ROMANSU'. I have a strange sense of humor, so I just couldn't help but destroy the entire wedding in the first part. It's not really a masterpiece, but I wanted to do a different type of wedding for the 'Gargoyles' universe. Weddings are always perfect in the fanfic archive. I miss disasters. Hence, I take it out on Puck. Poor guy. That's pretty much it. Blame my editor Ordeysia for spelling mistakes. (Muchas gracias, anyway!)

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PRELUDE

__

(Historian's note: Puck has his magic back. Needless to say, Oberon didn't like that…)

They sat in silent contemplation of each other, like the two hopelessly in love people they were. They were strolling around, the two of them, around Eerie Building's man-made waterfall.

It must have been late, it was night already and the moon was shinning bright. The gargoyles were already off, what a relief, for Owen Burnett couldn't do this with them looking over his shoulder.

Maggie Watkins looked gorgeous, though to him she always seemed gorgeous even at 5 am in the morning, without make-up, and with a really bad hangover. Yes, gorgeous indeed.

"It was really nice of Xanatos to give you tonight off." She commented as she leaned over him. "We hardly have anytime alone."

"He said he was going to some kind of dance tonight." Owen replied, "Which is fine by me, because I've something important to tell you tonight."

The couple sat down on a bench right in front of the waterfall. After much deliberation, he began, "You know we never have time alone, there's always 'someone' … I do believe you've met Demona…or some 'thing'… you saw that machine she brought with her, right?… interrupting us. I've wanted to say something for awhile, and I think tonight's the night."

She turned excited and said, "Hurry up and tell me! Before the gargoyles show up!"

He took a deep breath and replied, "We've been living together for a year now… and I was thinking… maybe… we should tie the proverbial knot…?"

She grinned evilly and said, "Say it."

He grunted and said; "You know what I mean."

"Say it! It's more fun that way!"

Owen took another deep breath and finally replied, "Would you please be my wife?" Then he took out a little box and opened it to reveal a ring.

She squealed in delight with a high pitch and almost yelled, "Yes!" and reached over to embrace him…

… Then someone sneezed.

It wasn't him, and sure as hell wasn't her. They looked at each other, then looked behind. "Damn gardenias!"----"Bless you!"----"Shh, he'll hear us!" a few voices muttered as a bush shook suspiciously.

"Why do I get the feeling…" said Owen as he took a little pebble from the waterfall and his voice grew progressively higher, "…_that_ _the walls have ears_!" He threw the pebble with an arm that would've broken a window right toward the bush. The piece of rock bounced off the head of one of the culprits, letting out a loud, "Oww!" The spies, all ten of them, consisting of Goliath, Elisa, Angela, the trio, Hudson and Bronx, Fox, and ---last but not least--- Mr. Xanatos, stood up.

"A party, Mr. Xanatos?" Owen told the rich and probable ringleader, now rubbing his forehead.

"Um…" said the millionaire, "Congratulations?"

****

ACT ONE_  
~ The wedding that almost was ~_

****

Avalon

Lord Oberon tapped his foot impatiently in the floor. He gazed to the door, he gazed to the window and he gazed to the door again. Needless to say, the Lord of Avalon was in a very ill mood. It was late at night. His whole court had dispersed and vanished.

And his lady wife was nowhere to be seen.

The queen comes and goes as she pleases, but he still felt the urge to wait for her. She was his wife. And a wife should be with her husband. At least, that's what he liked to believe.

Lady Titania appeared through her mirror a few minutes later, like she usually did. "You are late." He said.

"My apologies. I wasn't aware I was expected." She replied, "Besides, I bear interesting news."

The lord arched his eyebrow out of morbid curiosity. "Do tell."

"It would seem," she said with an unmistakable smirk in her face, "That your ex-servant, the Puck, is getting married."

Now _that_ was interesting news, one he never thought he'd hear. "Puck? That trickster is getting married?"

"That's right my lord." She popped out an envelope from out of nowhere. "I have the invitation right here."

Oberon's shock passed and he replied, "I do not care for that _wedding_." He said with an emphasis on the last word that made it sound like an obscenity. "Who'll be his wife? That witch that almost drove him insane when she gave him his magic back?"

"He hasn't had any contact with The Trio in awhile." Titania said, "No, he marries a human female. Maggie Watkins. You don't know her." Then added, "Does it mean that you decline?"

He shot Titania a smug look. "You have a short memory, Titania dearest. The _two_ crimes he has committed, _two_ crimes I will not forgive that easily. _The first one_: He ignored the summons for the Gathering. _The second_ _one_: Instead of accepting his punishment like a man, he contacts three of the Higher Gods behind my back and manages to get his magic back."

"He was tricked. He didn't do it on purpose."

"Irrelevant. I do not wish to go, anyway." Then he asked, "You can go if it pleases you. I know you want to see your daughter and grandson again."

"I'm afraid I won't be able to attend. Hecate and her witches are having a festival in my honor all this month. I'll be at Greece all the time. That is, if my lord permits me to be away for such a long time. Perhaps you'd like to accompany me?"

"No, you go right ahead without me. I've got business pending here." He replied.

"Many thanks, my lord." Replied Titania as she made a curtly bow, "I shall see you again in a month's time." With that, she disappeared in a burst of light.

His lady left, and Oberon sighed in relief. _That,_ he thought, _was a close one._ He knew of Hecate's and her witches' festivals. Endlessly boring. All the witches were female and all they ever did was talk about fashions and other things Oberon found useless. Oh, he'd attended a few times and ended bored to tears. Ah, but he had managed to slip out of this one and he felt proud of that.

He went to the royal bedroom to ponder. The bit of news about Puck still held his interest. _My, my, my… so the trickster is ready to settle down into a happy human family. How the mighty have fallen…_

It was a pity he had chose some mortal wench over Queen, one of the Higher Gods. _Now that was a woman…_he thought. She _did_ try to kill the Puck, but he liked her. Though he admired her, he couldn't help but feel repulsed that she had given Puck his powers back, power that Oberon deserved even more than that servant boy had.

__

Hmm… a happy human family…he thought again, _I wonder if she loves him, _really_ loves him…_Inside him, and idea began to form. Hecate's festival came right on time. With Titania out of the way, he could do anything without her interference. _Interesting…_he thought with a smirk, _I wonder if she knows what she's marrying into._

With that, a plan began to form.

**__**

The Marriott Hotel and Resort  
Syracuse, NY; 5 pm

When David Xanatos entered, the preparations were at full swing.

Owen was busy right now ordering people around and supervising. He spoke particularly fast and paced even faster. He must be scared. Or terrorized. Xanatos had never seen him nervous. He'd seen him facing Oberon, taking on Demona, and being aimed with ten cannons by terrorists, and he still wasn't as nervous as right now.

__

Here comes the Best Man to the rescue, Xanatos thought, then headed right over there. "Impressing, eh?"

Owen almost jumped, but immediately recovered, "Yes, I guess so."

Xanatos gave a chuckle. _Nervous AND spaced out_, then replied, "Getting cold feet?"

"No. It's just…that I've never gotten married before. Big gatherings of people because of me make me nervous."

"Absolutely normal." Xanatos assured. "Don't worry about it. It'll be over soon enough. By the way, the ceremony starts in three hours, which means we gotta dress you up, we gotta prep the gargoyles… who are late, but Fox tells me they'll be arriving by truck soon enough… and the guests will be arriving any moment now."

"About the guests…" commented Owen with some sense of dread. "I'm worried over them… they're very… conservative."

Xanatos had to give himself kudos for taking it all so well. Not only had he _not_ complained when he allowed Owen to go on a vacation a little over a year ago; he also didn't complain much when he brought back a few extra bags. 

Like a wife.

Xanatos immediately appointed himself Best Man. He was the only logical choice in the castle. That, and he loved to party. Owen was his most loyal ally, and so help me, his 'best friend', though putting it that way, it sounded stupid. Inwardly, he knew Owen would make a great husband. He was reliable, loyal and inhuman. 

Wait. That last one didn't come out right.

He wasn't this evil, as the connotation of the word inclined one to believe. In fact, Owen was quite a pleasant man, once you got over his seemingly cold attitude and the fact he's really a Child of Avalon posing as a human. Reliable, loyal and inhuman. Two out of three ain't bad.

Owen wanted the wedding to be simple and small, nothing too flashy. Maggie, on the other hand, wanted the works. 'The works' included flying half her family from upstate NY. That, after much arguing, was not possible. It was extremely unwise to bring common, innocent, what's-a-gargoyle? people to a castle full of them. 

So, they went for the compromise. The wedding would be celebrated at a hotel in Syracuse, where most of Maggie's family lived. It was easier to move the castle's inhabitants to Syracuse than the other way around, so Goliath and Co. would be arriving soon with Elisa and Fox. The gargoyles were still sleeping, of course, but sunset was near. Meanwhile, they were trucked over here.

"What was that about the guests?" asked Xanatos, going back to the conversation.

"They're very conservative. Most of them are over 50 years old. Lots of uncles and aunts. I'm just worried. They've never seen a millionaire before."

"Ah, the virtue of middle America. Don't worry, they'll be fine."

"But if they see the gargoyles true form---"

"They'll freak. I know." Replied Xanatos. "I thought you had that covered."

"I do. I have the human disguise spell. But I'm still worried."

Xanatos scoffed that worry away, saying, "You're just saying that because you're nervous. Don't worry. Be happy. What could possibly go wrong?"

* * *

The bellboy paced nervously back and forth at the entrance of the hotel. He checked his clothes and little hat. Everything was perfect. Good. He checked his watched, his shoes. Perfect. He thought back to a few minutes ago. _Everything must be perfect,_ his supervisor had told him, _or I'll have your head hanging on my wall!_ Everything was perfect; there was nothing else to fix. It was all a matter of time. 

The limousine pulled up right in front of him, finally, after what seemed a thousand-year-old wait. (It was only five minutes in real life, but Tom, that was his name, always lost track of time when his ass was on the line.) His supervisor had told him to open the door of the car, because we must give them a good impression, don't you think, and open the door he did. 

Fox Xanatos, a young red-haired woman with a tattoo on her right eye, dashingly wearing a light blue suit, came out, holding a child in her arms. "Wake up, Alex! We're here." 

The little boy, wearing a cute little tuxedo that made him look like the cutest little thing you ever saw, rubbed his eyes and said, "We're at uncle's wedding?"

"That's right." Responded another young woman, Elisa Maza, with a Native American resemblance, wearing more casual clothes. "Uncle Owen's getting hitched. Never thought I'd live to see the day."

"Mrs. Xanatos, Miss Maza," said Tom, the bellboy. "They've been expecting you." Then he added, "Where are the bags?"

"Well," said Fox, as she pointed at the driver, who was getting the bags out just now. "It's those in the trunk, two more in the backseat and… that." She pointed to a huge, white truck that was coming up the curve right now.

__

What's she doing? Thought the bellboy, _moving in here…?_

"The truck goes in the underground parking lot, as Mr. Xanatos ordered," said Fox. "No one comes close to it, all right?"

"Be careful with the statues." Added Elisa. 

While Tom, the bellboy scratched his head and wondered about what use could there be for a truck full of statues in a wedding; the bride-to-be greeted both Fox and Elisa.

"Maggie!" squealed Fox in joy as she ran to her, her high heels loudly clicking on the floor. After many hugs and kisses, "It's your wedding, I'm so excited!"

"Yeah, she has this trauma because hers wasn't much." Commented Elisa.

"We had no choice," Fox defended herself, "We _did_ have to travel back in time and all…"

"I'm so glad you guys are here. I'm so nervous, I don't know what to do with my hair, I hate my make-up kit and I've got butterflies in my stomach."

"Worry not. Fox Xanatos, mercenary and movie star is here to play dress up and make you look like a goddess." Fox replied.

"We're gonna have to hurry up. The wedding's soon, we all three have to dress up." Elisa added. "We weren't about to hop on a plane with maid-of-honor dresses."

Since the beginning, everything had gone very well for the three of them. To accept another woman in the happy Wyvern family wasn't as nearly as difficult as they believed. Besides, the castle needed a more feminine touch, especially Owen's room. She turned out to be a blast to hang out and exchange clothes with. The favorite item they exchanged was this semi-transparent yellow Tina Turner dress.

Elisa wasn't particularly fond of it, but Fox even made bids for it. She'd trade her Armani coat for that dress any day of the week. But even Elisa had to admit she wore it at least once. Goliath's jaw had reached the floor. But that was a story for another time…

Besides her dangerously similar taste in clothes with Fox, Maggie was a one-man gal after all and a good girl deep inside. So, ok, she and Owen had some fights… again, over the Tina Turner dress… but they really loved each other.

It _did_ help that she accepted Owen's alter ego and that she found all those magic things interesting. And that she didn't die of a heart attack when she saw Goliath and Co., though she was pretty damn close. The image of her going white and fainting on Puck's arms wasn't going away any time soon. _She's just a little shy…heh, heh…_

"Ladies," said Xanatos as he sneaked up behind them, Owen not far behind. "What are we doing here? Go dress up!"

"Oh, fine. We're a bit early." Said Elisa.

"No, you are very late, wedding's in two hours. Move it." Xanatos replied.

"We should get going, Meg. Your mother's coming soon with the rest of your family." Owen commented. "I'll go with you."

"You can't." Fox piped in, teasingly. "A groom is not suppose to see the bride. And you've got to dress up too."

Owen, spaced-out since the beginning of the ordeal, acceded without much complaint. Xanatos assumed it was just the nerves, and said with smile, "It's the law, let's go."

**_Near sunset  
One hour to go till the big event_**

"Owen, stop playing with the tie!" Xanatos barked as he yanked his assistant's hand off his own tie.

"It's crooked!"

"No it isn't!" Xanatos replied as he fixed it for the one thousandth time.

Owen calmed down and took a good look at himself in the mirror in front of him. "Do I look all right?"

"Perfect." The millionaire replied, and couldn't help but chuckle. Owen was a complete bundle of nerves. He expected some, true, it was his wedding day; but getting too skittish wasn't healthy. It began to dawn on him that all he needed was a little thing right in the mini-fridge. "You, my friend, need a drink."

It was a good thing he had stayed with him all this week. Not only was this his sacred duty as a Best Man, but the poor man would be lost without him. Not to mention that the whole wedding was Owen's wedding gift. 

The Marriott manager had been thrilled, of course, they had just spent an entire week in one of the most expensive suites in the hotel, pigging out constantly and wasting money like there was no tomorrow. What the hell, money was of no importance.

The whole gang was leaving tonight; that is, if Owen made it all through the ceremony. "There you go." Xanatos said as he handled him a little bottle of vodka.

Not only did he drink that in one shot, he took three other little bottles and did the same. "Are there more?" Owen asked as he threw the four bottles away.

Xanatos gazed at the mini-fridge. There were many, many bottles, _many_. He swiftly closed the door and locked it under key. "Not for you there isn't."

Owen sat in the bed and took a deep breath. "Am I doing the right thing?"

The millionaire, a bit more preoccupied, asked, "Don't tell me you're thinking of backing out now…"

"No!" he replied, "No, I'd never do that. It's just that…" he hesitated, "I've got this… bad feeling something's going to happen. That it's not going to work."

"The marriage?"

"The _wedding_."

Xanatos sighed in relief. "You almost got me worried there. The worst thing that could happen is that Maggie trips, or nobody likes the caviar, and it's not that bad." Then out of morbid curiosity, he asked, "So you've never gotten married. What about Puck? Is there an ex-wife out there?"

"No, just many ex-girlfriends. Marriage is very uncommon among the fey. Some do get married, but most of us don't. Basically, because the divorce is granted by Oberon, and he can be very strict about it."

"Oh, that's bad." Xanatos commented. "Don't worry. I'll be there every step of the way. That's what the Best Man's for." Then he added, "Sunset is near, let's go get the gargoyles."

* * *

They made their way to the garage, which was deserted, under Xanatos' order. But when the sun finally fell, the gargoyles roared so loudly that in must have echoed all through the parking lot.

"Are we there yet?" asked Lexington. He saw both Owen and Xanatos all dressed up and ready to go, and added, "I guess so."

The gargoyles began to chatter among themselves, "Oh, gee, and I've got nothing to wear…"---"Where's the food?"---"I've gotta go to the bathroom…"

"Congratulations, Owen." Said Goliath as he shook his hand, "Thank you for inviting us."

"Thank _you_ for coming." He replied.

"Well," declared Xanatos, "Let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Owen handled him a little bottle with something shinning inside.

It was dust, in this case, magic dust, which poured in his hands and blew toward the gargoyles, then began to chant in Latin something that meant, 'Just for tonight, let these gargoyles look human until the morning's first light.'

The gargoyles didn't look like gargoyles anymore, just a group of normal looking guys wearing tuxedos. And a girl wearing a pretty dress, Angela, of course.

"Dig it!" commented Brooklyn, as he saw himself human.

"Be careful with your tails," Owen told them, "Just because you can't see them, it doesn't mean they're not there."

"Oww!" complained Hudson, as the normal-looking dog that was once Bronx stepped on his tail, "I see what you mean…!"

**_Wedding time  
Conference hall_**

He took a peak from outside the brightly decorated hall and shuddered. There were so many people… the clan, Maggie's family… There weren't that many people, though. Owen-type didn't have much 'friends'. Maybe that's why he chose to invite the gargoyles. To fill in the void at the groom's side.

He was worried that the bride's side would be too full and the groom's side too empty, but they had turned out in even numbers. Even good old Robert was there, with Michael. At least he saw the numbers and felt better now. It wasn't a majestic wedding, but it was big enough to satisfy Maggie.

The halls' doors suddenly opened, making him back away. David Xanatos took a look around, he saw no one, then muttered, "Where is he?"

The millionaire went back inside, and Puck thanked his lucky stars for that handy-dandy invisibility spell. He flew, (no one saw him anyway, so no harm there) and disappeared like a ghost.

He reappeared back in Maggie's room, (no one saw him there either.) Fox was still there, along with Elisa, putting the finishing touches on her hair and wedding dress.

"You look gorgeous!" her heard Elisa say to his bride.

"This is it, girlfriend." Fox commented. "Elisa and me will go announce you. I'll come back and get you."

"Lets go, we're behind schedule!" piped in Elisa, and both she and the other maid of honor took off running in excitement.

Maggie was left alone in the room, pacing around, looking at her reflection in the mirror. "You look lovely," he told her, shedding away the invisibility spell.

"Puck!" she almost jumped in surprise, "You're not supposed to see me! It's bad luck!"

"We make our own luck." He replied, then hurried up to kiss her.

She giggled and slipped away, "Ah-ah-ah, you naughty boy, they'll be time for that later."

He hurried up to kiss her again, then replied, "Then let's get this over with. The faster we get married, the faster will be at the honeymoon."

"My, aren't we in a hurry?" she joked.

"I don't know…" he replied, more serious, "It's just that… I get this awful feeling something bad is going to happen…"

"Nonsense." She told him. "What could possibly go wrong?"

* * *

The music started, 'the Wedding March', no less, and everyone settled down. At the right, Maggie's family was seated. A pretty normal-looking bunch. There was the mother, the elderly aunts and uncles, and her cousins.

At the left is where things were interesting; a whole clan of gargoyles pretending to be humans, a cop, a few friends from the office, his mother, and a guy who used to have a crush on Owen and now had a new man in his life.

It was a very simple altar, and the priest, Reverend Pell, was used to marrying odd couples. When he first heard the news from Mr. Xanatos that his services were needed, he thought that maybe he'd get to see that neat fireball trick again. But it had turned out to be a pretty normal wedding.

Owen was standing on the left, along with Xanatos, and looked very nervous. Not simply nervous, but worried. "Relax." Xanatos had muttered. The ring bearer was little Alex, who seemed very excited, watching over the rings like a sacred duty. At the right were the Maids of Honor, gleefully proud. 

The bride began to walk down the aisle. There was no one to give her away, but what did it matter? She stood next to her husband-to-be and smiled to him. The reverend could've sworn he saw him blush.

"Dearly beloved," he began, "We are gathered here in the eyes of the Lord this day, to wed this man and this woman in holy matrimony, to be witnessed by friends and family on this blessed eve. If there are any who know any reasons why these to two should not be joined, let them speak now or forever hold their peace…"

The bride and groom looked at each other with love, love that would never disappear, love that would never---

"I know why."

Time froze. The reverend, startled, stuttered, "Excuse me?" Everybody started mumbling, and looked at the back of the room, where the owner of the voice gave a laugh. 

__

THAT DISGUSTING LAUGH! Was all Owen could think right now; he dared not look back, but when he did, he saw Lord Oberon in human guise stare back, leaning all-too-comfortable in his chair. He stood up, amused, and said, "I said I know why. Do you want to hear my reasons?"

"No." Owen was the one to reply, with power, authority and murder in his eyes. Maggie stared wide-eyed at Xanatos, with a 'HELP ME' look written all over her. Owen backed away from her and placed himself in front.

"Because," Oberon continued, "You're already married!"

**_"WHAT!?!"_**

Time froze. All heads turned from Oberon to Owen, who was shocked beyond believe. "Is this true?" asked the reverend.

"Of course not!" Xanatos replied for him. "Why would he!?"

"I've never been married in my life, if I did, I'd _know_." Owen added.

Oberon gave a smirk and handed a paper to Xanatos. "Do you know what that is, human?" he asked.

Xanatos gave him a wary look and yanked the paper of his hand. He began to read, and his expression changed from incredulity to mute horror. "Owen, these are Puck's marriage papers!"

****

ACT TWO_  
~ The past returns ~_

"This is not fair!" The was-but-not-anymore bride sobbed, "Mama, he was cheating on me!" Maggie began to sob on her mother's shoulder, crumpling her white dress.

"Shameful"---"What a humiliation." Many guests mumbled as they left, "The creep."---"He was cheating _with_ her!"---"I hope he burns in hell!"

Sitting near the exit of the hall, crying over her mother, she could hear very well all the insults her 'husband' was receiving. Right now, she couldn't agree more.

Elisa and the clan looked at her with pity in their eyes. They were still human looking; of course, the spell still wasn't broken. "There's got to be some sort of mistake…" Goliath assured her. "Perhaps a prank by Oberon…"

"That was his signature!" Maggie wailed, "Just _look_ at the paper!" 

She gave it to Goliath, who read it out loud. "I, Robin Goodfellow, aka Puck, of sound mind and judgement, proclaim my… _undying love for Vesta!?_ And promise to take her in marriage as my _wife!?_ To have and to hold **_till death do us apart!?_** " The signature read 'Puck' all right; there was no doubt about it. Maggie began to wail even louder. 

"Just who is this 'Vesta'?" Angela questioned.

"That is a damn good question." Brooklyn commented. "Where's Puck, anyway?"

"He's back in his room cleaning up this mess." Broadway answered.

"I don't get one thing," Mrs. Watkins questioned, "Who _is_ that guy, that Oberon?"

Elisa sat down next to mother and daughter and replied, "That's Maggie's father-in-law. Sort of. You know Owen's a fey and you know he was banished from his homeland because he didn't show up for the gathering. Well, Oberon's the reason he didn't come back. He's the lord of Avalon. And he's still angry because Puck defied him."

"The fey lord is very temperamental and holds grudges easily." Goliath added, "No doubt this is some sort of prank to annoy us all."

"Damn jerk!" Maggie whined.

Goliath replied, "You have no idea."

* * *

Back in Owen's room, things couldn't get any worst.

Oberon was lying on the couch with a horribly smug look on his face that Puck found disgusting. _How dare he come to ruin my wedding day…!_ Puck reasoned he never got over his 'betrayal' and now was paying him back. 

He _wasn't_ going to get away with it.

"So, _lord_, when did this supposed marriage happen?"

Oberon shot him an amused look, "Why the sarcasm? I'm hurt. This is all for your benefit."

"_Benefit_?! All you want is to--"

"Don't." Xanatos interrupted, as he placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled him away. "Let's talk this out." He made the fey back away and he took command. _That's what the Best Man's for_, he thought with resignation. "Please, your majesty. What is this all about? When did this marriage take place?"

"Why, on 1785." The lord replied. "On Hecate's Festival, Greece."

"But that was over two hundred years ago!" Puck complained, "In the 18th century! I can't remember what happened that day!"

"Well, allow me to refresh your memory…" Oberon told him, "I remember it as if were yesterday…"

**__**

Flashback

Hecate's Festival  
Greece, 1785

Oberon was having the time of his life chatting away with his wife's servants. Hecate, protector of all witches, sure knew how to throw a party. 

It was a festival; one that Hecate threw every year. It all took place in the forest, away from the villages, and the Children of Avalon were left to play and party away from humans. Not many mortals came to this gathering, and those who did couldn't drink or eat anything, or when they left they'd age horribly and die. So the mortals couldn't see the fairy rings they loved to fable about, or the glories of the Third Race. There was lots of dancing and many, many happy faces all around.

Many of his court were there, some faces he hadn't seen in awhile. There was the Lady of the Lake talking with the one that called herself Grandmother. The Weird Sisters were also around, along with many other of his children.

Also around was Puck, who seemed a little woozy and dizzy. He was with this beautiful fey, her name was Vesta. They seemed to giggle and tumble a lot, as if they were drunk. Out of curiosity and worry for his servants, Oberon decided to follow them.

They walked hand in hand, and left the party to fly off to the countryside. They flew very erratically, almost colliding with trees and the like. _Drunk_, Oberon assumed.

Vesta and Puck flew over an hour until they reached a small town. No one saw them; it was almost midnight, all the humans were asleep. They landed on the shop of a lawyer, and banged loudly. The human, annoyed and tired, answered with a bad attitude.

Oberon couldn't see what happened afterwards. Puck and Vesta spent at least half-an-hour inside, then left, and the lawyer went to sleep again. The couple flew off but Oberon didn't even bother to go after them.

Instead, he waited for morning; and with a human guise, went to knock on the lawyer's door. "The two young ones that came last night? Foolish children. I doubt they know what they were doing." The lawyer had said, "But I guess young love clouds the mind."

Love? The lawyer handed him the copy of human marriage papers. Surprised, and if not amused, Oberon replied, "I better get a hold on this… just in case…"

* * *

Puck stared wide-eyed at his lord with a face of disgust. "I---I---can't believe it!" He began to pace. "I'd never do that! And with _Vesta_?"

"So there really is a Vesta?" Xanatos questioned. "Who is she?"

Puck sighed and replied, "She used to be worshipped as a fire goddess. Back in the days of old Greece, humans made shrines to her in fireplaces…"

"Ah," said Oberon, "So you do admit her existence. A step up."

"Yes…" he mumbled, then repeated with more confidence, "Yes! I remember the festival. But that's is not the way _I_ remember it!"

**__**

Flashback

Hecate's Festival  
Greece, 1785

It was endlessly, terribly, eternally boring, for one thing. Nobody was having any fun. At least, he was not. All the attractive females were playing around in the fairy ring ceremony, and all the males were left out. 

One couldn't even bring a human woman; she'd die when the party ended. Of course, that didn't spot _some_ people. Anansi, for one, had taken a human guise and was now coupling with a human shepherd girl, and was extremely loud about it.

Even Oberon seemed bored out of his mind, looking as if he wanted to commit suicide if this didn't ended soon.

The music ended, and the dance took a break. The women went to console their very bored boyfriends. Lucky for Puck, he didn't bring a date, so he had to watch as some couples, drunk, took their clothes off and started their own parties.

He watched them jealous, not because he wasn't 'getting any', but because no one had told him there was wine around. At least that would give him something to do.

The wine was on the other side, and he flew there to have a few drinks. Along with him there was one of his cousins; Vesta was her name. She had long copper hair and wore a toga that reached the floor. He didn't know her very well, but he knew she was a fire goddess in some places. The moment he approached her, she hid a suspicious looking bottle inside her toga. He, looking for diversion, asked, "What's that?"

She jumped. "Shh! I'm spiking the punch! You're not going to turn me in, are you?"

"Hell no! Don't let me stop you!"

She had at least three bottles of human wine, and she poured them all in the fey wine. "That sure is a lot." He commented.

"I'm bored. I'm trying to drink myself to death." She replied with a smirk.

"You mind some company?"

She shot him a friendly look and replied, "Knock yourself out."

* * *

Puck snapped out of his mist of memories to face reality again. "Then what happened?" he heard Xanatos ask.

"I don't remember." He replied, "But I'm sure as hell I didn't run off to get married!"

"It would seem that's exactly what you did, Puck." Oberon replied.

Puck, humiliated, told him, "If I remember what really happened, you _will_ let me be free to marry!"

"Are you implying that I lied?" said the lord, with a mischievous look to his eyes. "Why would I ever do that?"

"I will only trust my memories, when they come back." Puck replied firmly.

Oberon, with his usual air of arrogance, said, "Very well. Try to remember. But you will not like the answer."

Xanatos, who had been quiet most of the time, suddenly spoke up. "You're forgetting one thing, Lord Oberon. We have the marriage papers… but where's the wife?"

Oberon looked as if he had forgotten the most important part of the mix. "I forgot. Silly me." He stood up from the couch and raised his hand. "Vesta, come forth!"

Next to Puck, a portal with the outlines of Titania's mirror opened. One could see the silhouette of a female body step through the mirror and turn into the real thing. 

Vesta.

"Hello, 'husband'. Glad to finally meet you." Said the barely dress, big breasted girl in front of Puck. She had changed; her hair, once long, curly and copper, was now short with a boyish cut and bright red. Still wore a revealing toga, but instead of reaching to her ankles, it was now a mini-skirt. She was a babe and looked as old as he was.

__

I never knew I had such a good taste in women! He thought, but then pushed the notion away, disgusted with himself. "What the hell's going on, Vesta? What's this about we being married? I haven't seen you since Hecate's festival, and that was in the 1700's."

"I only speak the truth, Puck." Replied Lord Oberon. "You saw the papers."

"Those are not real! Those are not real!" Puck complained as he paced around in his suite. "Oh…" he started, "I'm…I… I can't breath…!"

"Puck, stop it, your hyperventilating!" Xanatos said as he grabbed the fey by the shoulders before he could faint. _Though it's understandable._

"How dare you marry me without my consent!?" He grabbed a hold of himself, only to be slapped by his 'wife'. He staggered backwards by the slap, landing on Xanatos' arms. Had he been human, she would've knocked off a few teeth.

Oberon tried to hide a chuckle. Xanatos shot him a dirty look while he tried to bring back Puck from unconsciousness. "Puck, how many fingers?" the millionaire asked, showing him two.

"Four?"

"Close enough." 

He helped him up and the disoriented fey asked, "What did I ever do to deserve this?"

Oberon replied, "Should I make a list?"

* * *

Elisa poured another cup of coffee that she found in the mini-fridge. "I'm telling you, Meg. You worry over nothing." She said as she handed Maggie the cup.

They were now at Fox's suite. The wedding hall was deserted and there was no point in staying over there. The guests had already left awhile ago, which was understandable because it was around 10 pm now. Maggie had already kicked away the high heels and the veil, and the whole gang was tired after this longest of days.

Dinner was not a problem, they took on the snacks and there was nothing else left. While most of the gargoyle clan when to explore the hotel with the human spell, only the two human women and Goliath accompanied Maggie back upstairs.

"You know, this is probably some plot to make Puck miserable." Elisa commented, "Oberon _is_ a pain."

"He is a despot leader at times," Goliath continued, "We all know what he tried to do with small Alexander."

"It's all my fault." Fox confessed, "I shouldn't have tried to invite mother. What was I thinking?"

"Where _is_ Titania? I doubt she would approve all of this." Added Goliath.

"That's a really good question…" Fox sighed, then told Maggie, "Well, there you have it. In-laws."

Maggie sighed and yawned, saying, "I should've married that lawyer…" then she added, "Anyway, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explication for this. Heck, I bet there's no wife after all. He would've told me!"

"Absolutely!" cheered Elisa.

"He wouldn't even bother to try. I know he's a bit of a liar, but even he wouldn't sink this deep. He's not some heartless monster. And he's not so stupid as to get caught."

"That's the spirit!" Fox added.

"But if he did," Maggie continued, her mood diminishing. She suddenly looked sad and said, "I'll guess I'd have to kill him. Sigh."

The two women and the gargoyle exchanged looks. "Um… I'm sure it won't come down to that." Goliath comforted.

The bedroom's doors suddenly opened and Puck, with Xanatos, entered. "So," asked the millionaire, "Is everyone gone?"

"Left over an hour ago." Maggie responded, then she went to Puck, and said with a honey-drenched voice, "What happened? Is it over? Can we get married after all?"

Puck, in turn, suddenly looked hot under the collar. He laughed nervously. "You know, that's a very interesting and slightly creepy story." He replied, "Why don't we talk about it in our room?"

"Hey, husband," suddenly piped in another voice that entered Fox's suite. "If we're gonna stay married, you're gonna have to dump the mistress."

All heads turned to the fey woman lying against the door. She had a boy's cut on her fire red hair and she wore a very skimpy dress, so she was hard to miss. "Vesta, go away!" Puck replied, enraged.

Elisa, Fox and Goliath began to mumble among themselves, "He WAS cheating on her."---"That bum."---"Insensible jerk." Xanatos gave them a loud 'Shh…!'

Meanwhile, Puck turned to his fiancée and replied, "This is not what it looks like…!" Maggie didn't answer; she just raised her right hand and let it go down with a loud SLAP that must have echoed all through the hotel.

* * *

"Honey! Please! Don't do this!" Puck wailed as a bag full of clothes flew out the door and into the hall. "I'll be good!"

"---I---" she threw a bag, "---don't---" she threw another one, "---believe you!---" She threw a pair of his shoes she found lying around in her room, both aimed at his head, though the last one missed. "Why don't you spend some quality time with your _wife_!"

Xanatos and company viewed the spectacle with awe, along with at least ten other guests on the same floor. There were a lot of "Ooohhs" and "Ahhhs" among the crowd.

Maggie's wedding dress was broken in several places by now, and she finished tossing away the last bag. "And don't you dare come back until I hold the divorce certificate in my hands!"

"Honey, please!" he tried to approach her, but she snapped the door in his face. He staggered back and cried out, "I think you broke my nose!" 

After Maggie yelled some colorful obscenities about Puck's mother, everything turned quiet. The clan knew this wasn't the place or time to be staring at Puck dumbfounded, but they couldn't help myself.

"Puck?" said Xanatos as he walked toward him, "Come on, we'll get you another room…"

"Did she dump me?" he asked, in a soft, trembling voice.

Xanatos didn't dare answer. Puck looked as if doomsday was here. All who were there could've sworn he was about to crumble down and die. But then something took over, some cold fierce determination that was scary. The crowd stared at him curiously. He looked at them from out of the corner of his eye, then faced them. 

"This is not over!" he yelled, loud enough for everyone to hear, "**As God as my witness**_, **I'm not leaving this hotel until Maggie says**_ 'OWEN, I DO!' "

The crowd began mumbling, "Did you heard that?"---"How romantic!"---"I though his name was Puck…"

"Oh, my," Angela commented, "That sounded like an oath…"

"Or a war cry…" Elisa replied.

****

ACT THREE_  
~ Cupid's lackeys ~_

****

The Marriott Hotel and Resort  
Syracuse, NY; 8 am

It was early in the morning. The gargoyles had already turned to stone a few hours ago. The women the Wyvern family ---minus one--- was already up, having breakfast in the hotel's restaurant.

"Ten bucks for toast. What a crime…" Elisa commented as she strolled down the buffet. She sighed. There was something else bothering her. She looked to the front doors. No sign of either of them.

Fox intercepted her thoughts. "Don't bother. She had room service. I checked."

"Damn." Elisa muttered, "What about Puck?"

"Nothing there."

"Damn!" The lady cop said again, "That was sadistic, even from Oberon. On his wedding day! Can you believe it?"

"Nothing hardly surprises me anymore. Especially where Oberon's concerned." Replied Fox, "So where is the little tramp?"

"Vesta? No clue." Elisa told her. "We have to do something. I just can't let Oberon get away with it, this it. I mean, Puck's been through enough. We _have_ to do something."

"I absolutely agree." The millionaire's wife replied. "The question is: what _can_ we do? The first step would be getting rid of Vesta, but we don't know her roll in all of this. Does she love him? Personally, I don't think so."

"Ditto. Then that's the first step. Talk to Vesta. See what can we do with her." Elisa said, decided, "The other thing to do is deal with Puck."

"Don't worry. That's David's job. In fact, he's on it right now…"

* * *

When Xanatos got there, the door was already open. "Puck? Are you awake?" he called out, but there was no answer. He carefully tiptoed inside, and immediately noticed all of Owen-type's clothes and bags lying on the floor.

This wasn't Maggie's room anymore; Xanatos had gotten him another one on the same floor late last night. He had looked miserable. He just dumped everything on the floor and whispered, "I just need some time alone…"

He also noticed lots of little bottles of rum on the floor, all of them empty. "Oh, no!" he said when he found Puck face down on the bed, lots of bottles all around him, "Death by mini-bar!"

Puck must have heard something, because he gave a little grunt, shifted and mumbled, "Maggie?"

"Come on, Puck," Xanatos replied, as he helped him up, "It's morning…!"

"Where's Meg…?" he muttered. "Where am I?" He was momentarily bewildered, but it all came back. "Oh, shit. I need a drink…Somebody shoot me, I wanna die…!"

"Let's get you sobered up…"

Xanatos managed to drag him to the bathroom, open up the cold shower and let him have it, while the fey yelled and cursed his way to the real world. Some new clothes, twice his size, and he looked like another person. Now if Xanatos could only wipe that miserable look from Puck's face, everything would be perfect. 

"I'm sorry, Xanatos, I'm just not in the mood." He flopped in the bed and curled up in the sheets.

The millionaire frowned and barked, "Look at you! He has you just where he wants you!" Xanatos yanked off the sheets. "You said you wouldn't leave this hotel until you got married! What are you planning to do!? Live here forever!?"

Puck tried to yank the sheets back from Xanatos, "Leave me alone! Give me the sheets!"

"No, I won't!" replied Xanatos, pulling the sheets to his side, "You're gonna get up from bed and you're gonna fight for the woman you love!"

"No!"

"YES!"

"No!"

"YES, YOU WILL!" The sheets finally tore in half, and both of them were thrown backwards. "Look what you made me do! This is coming out of your credit card!"

"What I made you do!? You're the one paying for the wedding!"

"Ah…!" Xanatos exclaimed, quickly improvising, "_Will_ it be a wedding?"

Puck was speechless for a second. After thinking about it, he replied with a confident voice. "Yes, it _will_."

Xanatos smirked that smirk of his and thought, _Another save by the Best Man. And the crowd goes wild!_

* * *

Elisa and Fox searched through and through the hotel looking for Vesta, Puck's so-called 'wife'. From the swimming pool, to the garden, to the spa, they looked, but the search bore no fruits.

"This is useless." Elisa said as they walked along side the outdoor pool. "We're never going to find her this way. Chances are she's not even here."

"Well, she _has_ to be here." Fox replied. "If not, she'd be in Avalon, then we'd really be in trouble." Then she added, "We just got to think like a fey. If you just found out that you've been married to someone for the last 200 years, where would you be?"

"Somewhere solitary, trying to figure things out." Elisa replied thoughtfully.

"I'd be in the gym kicking a dummy." Fox said, and the cop shot her a funny look, "Of course, that's just me."

"Let's try it my way first… I've got a hunch to where she might be."

* * *

Maggie opened her USA News, but suddenly lost all interest in it. She turned on the tv, and turned it off again. The morning seemed so empty now. She should be on her honeymoon, having endless sex, enjoying the hot Puerto Rico sun, having even more sex…

Look at her now. Alone. Single. Destined to life, her life alone. She knew that her love was tied up with a slut with no fashion sense, and it broke her heart. She was lost at sea, and she suddenly felt the need to leave the room.

__

Yes, some time in the pool will do me good…she thought. She slipped on the bikini she had brought and left.

But unknown to her; two shadows were following her.

* * *

The millionaire's wife and the lady cop made their way to the top the Marriott Hotel. Not the last floor, but the top, the roof. "Why are we doing here again?" Fox questioned.

"Following my cop's instinct." She replied.

"Oh, that explains a lot…"

"Think about it," Elisa reasoned, "If I found out I'd been married for the last 200 years, I'd be humiliated."

"Please, Puck is not _that_ bad…" 

A strong wind was blowing, but it wasn't as nearly as strong as the ones that blew back at Wyvern sometimes. But with the wind there also blew a faint sobbing. Fox was the first that noticed, and signaled Elisa to look behind her. "I guess you were right…" the tattooed woman whispered.

"Vesta? Is that you?" Elisa called out.

The fey woman seemed surprised, and she spun around in mid-air to face the duo. "Who is it? Who are you?"

"Don't worry," said Elisa, "We're friends."

* * *

They saw her stroll around next to the outdoor pool with a sad face. She seemed lonely and melancholic. She always looked so lovely, even when she's lonely. In the pack of people basking in the sun, she was the fairest damsel of them all.

From inside the building, carefully hidden behind a palm tree, Xanatos whispered to Puck. "This is your chance. She's waiting for you."

"I don't know…" the fey replied, wearing a tee-shirt and a pair of jeans that were too big for him, "You think she'll talk to me?"

"Hey, the wedding's already paid for, I _demand_ you go get the bride!"

"Thank you for your moral support…" Puck muttered.

Xanatos yanked a flower off a vase nearby and handled it to Puck, "Give her a flower, all chicks love flowers."

"All chicks? Does _Fox_ like flowers?" came the sarcastic response.

"Fox? Flowers? She's a mercenary, why would she like flowers?" he admitted, "She likes diamonds best…"

"I rest my case."

The millionaire shot him a dirty look and pushed the fey forward. "And don't come back without the wife!"

He went to her, urged by his employer. He suddenly felt nervous, no, not nervous; never nervous just very, very preoccupied.

Maggie was spaced-out looking at the sky. She didn't even notice him sneak up behind her, or the flower right in front of her sight. "A flower to a flower."

She turned to him surprised, but that surprise turned to anger, and she said, "How dare you show up after what you did to me?"

"I swear, I didn't know." She tried to pull away, but he held her back. "Please, you know I'll always be true to you. Don't let this little thing get to you."

"Little thing!? You've been married for 200 years and _now_ you notice! You call that little!?"

"She means nothing to me! Nothing!"

Maggie looked at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You were married to her and never noticed. Are you going to do that to me too?"

She walked away, and he was left behind, in silence.

* * *

Up on the Marriott Hotel rooftop, a young fey woman sobbed in the shoulders of Elisa Maza and Fox Xanatos. As it turned out, Vesta wasn't the slut they took her for, although she sure dressed like one. She was just a very confused woman.

"Can you believe it?! I've been married to him for all these years and I never knew!"

"Hush now." Elisa comforted the woman. "You were probably tricked into this marriage."

"Do you remember anything, anything at all about that night?" Fox questioned. "If you remembered, then all of this would be over!"

"But that's the bad side! I do remember signing my name! We're doomed!" Vesta replied.

"But you signed of your own free will? Are you in love with him?" Elisa asked, bewildered.

"Eww, no! He was just a one-night stand! I signed because I was drunk like a dog and didn't knew what was happening." she replied with disgust, "It's foggy. I remember making jokes about marriage and… since we were drunk… it must have occurred to us we should've gotten married…"

"Oh…" exclaimed Fox, "It all comes clear now…"

"My true love is Quetxalcoalt!"

Elisa and Fox looked at each other, "Who?" they asked in unison. 

* * *

"You can't give up now!" Xanatos exclaimed to his assistant's alter ego, which was slumped in the lobby with a death wish.

"She doesn't love me anymore…"

"She loves you, she's just afraid that you're afraid of commitment!"

The fey gave him a funny look.

"Never mind! You just have to prove you care for her. Something really, really romantic! Like chocolates."

"Chocolates, Mr. Millionaire Playboy?"

Xanatos gave him a blank look; "It worked on Fox…"

Puck slumped even further. "We're doomed…" he muttered. As he pouted and tried to imagine life without Maggie, some tourists entered the hotel and passed through the lobby. One of them was carrying a guitar suitcase.

It was as if the heavens opened up for him. He stood up from the couch with a jumped and ran to the musician. Shocked, Xanatos went after him yelling, "Where are you going?"

"Excuse me, sir! Can I borrow your guitar?"

The man, a 20 year old with long hair told him, "This is my baby, it's gonna cost you."

"No problem!" Puck replied, "Xanatos, pay the man!"

Xanatos looked at him bewildered, _What am I? His own piggy bank…?_ Puck took the guitar and took off running.

Maggie was sitting in the hotel's restaurant, still alone. Xanatos cached up with Puck and asked, "Why did I just spent fifty bucks on a surfer?"

"I'm gonna sing to her!"

"You!? You can sing!?"

"For Maggie I'd cross the hottest desert, swim the vastest ocean, and bear the most ultimate of humiliations!"

"That's the spirit! Go for it!"

He headed to the restaurant, with the confidence of a man in love, and stood up in the middle of a table. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it with _style_. "If I may have your attention please!"

The patrons of the restaurant looked toward him, and Maggie, upon recognizing him, buried her face behind her piña colada. "Right now, my fiancée---that woman right over there---" all faces turned to Maggie, who now blushed wildly, "Thinks I've cheated on her! Can you believe that?"

The customers played along and moaned with a loud, "Awww…". Maggie was red like a tomato. "To the deaf population of the restaurant, read my lips, to the ones that can hear, my most sincere apologies."

__

They say we're young and we don't know.**  
**We won't find out until we grow…

Well I don't know if all that's true**  
**'Cause you got me, and baby I got you…

Babe, I got you babe…! I got you babe…!

Xanatos, from the front door of the restaurant, laughed in good humor and cursed himself for not bringing a camera. He saw Maggie turn red, violet, blue and the rest of the patrons were beginning to sing along.

__

They say our love won't pay the rent, 

Before it's earned, our money's all been spent.  
I guess that's so, we don't have a pot 

But at least I'm sure of all the things we got. Babe!  
I got you babe! I got you babe!

He jumped from the table he was on to head over to Maggie's, _"I got flowers in the spring, I got you to wear my ring…"_ He signaled her to continue.

__

And when I'm sad, you're a clown**  
**And if I get scared, you're always around

So let them say your hair's too long**  
**'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong…

She said, embarrassed to death. Xanatos ended up whooping from the front of the restaurant.

__

Him: I got you to hold my hand…  
Her: I got you to understand…   
Him: I got you to walk with me…   
Her: I got you to talk with me! I got you to kiss goodnight. I got you to hold me tight!  
I got you, I won't let go! I got you to love me so! 

BOTH: I got you babe  
I got you babe!  
I got you babe!

* * *

Still on top of the Marriott Hotel, Elisa and Fox were still with Vesta. "That cheap bastard!" Fox cried out. "How could he ever come between you two?"

"Let me get this straight," Elisa interrupted. "This 'Quetxalcoalt '… That's the name of a god that Mayan people use to worship? And he's your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, he's my one and only. The problem is that now we can't get married!" Vesta sobbed. "Oberon will never allow it."

"You listen up," said Elisa, "You've got to fight Oberon for the man you love! You can't allow yourself to get kick around by some jerk wearing a crown!"

"That's right!" Fox added, "Oberon's miserable and wants to make everyone else miserable! You've got to fight this decision any way that you can! You gotta do everything in your power to marry this boy! You're a woman, _roar_!"

Vesta looked up with hope glimmering in her eyes. "You… you mean it?"

"Absolutely!" said Elisa, "Give the call, and we'll help you!"

The fey woman brushed away her tears and replied, "Thank you, thank you very much! But I'm warning you! I'm taking up that promise!" Then she gave a little giggle.

**__**

The Marriott Hotel and Resort  
Syracuse, NY; 10 pm

"So that's the story, guys…" Elisa finished telling to Xanatos, Puck, Maggie and the rest of the clan.

All of them, rendezvous at Maggie's---and now once again Puck's---room. Sunset had occurred over an hour ago, and now the humans, the gargoyles and the feys were summarizing what happened while they drank coffee.

"Let me get this straight," Brooklyn spoke up, putting down his cup of coffee, "Puck and Vesta got married 200 hundred years ago while they were drunk, and just found out about it yesterday. Oberon---out for revenge, as usual---decided to bring it up at Puck's wedding…right?"

"Yep."

"---To annoy him and make him break up with Maggie. But not only did he _almost_ succeed, he also brought innocent Vesta in, who already has a boyfriend---" Brooklyn struggled with the name, "Queowhatchamacallit…?"

"Quetxalcoalt!" Vesta corrected, "The ancient Mayan god! And the handsomest man in the universe."

"I guess we were never meant to be…" commented Puck absentmindedly.

"You should've suspected that from the beginning…" Vesta replied to him, with a stern look in her eyes, "Why on heart would I want to marry _you_? You're selfish, egotistical, a liar, ugly---"

"Yeah, yeah…"

"---Stupid, imbecile, jerky---"

"Quit it!"

"---Evil, moronic, long-haired freak show with---" 

"ALL RIGHT, WE GET THE POINT!"

"But out of joke," Xanatos continued, while 'husband' and 'wife' continued to call each other names, "Now that we all know the facts, what are we going to do about it…?"

"You spoke of someone called Titania," Maggie replied, "Can she help?"

"We don't know where she is." Fox answered, "Mother has a knack of showing when we _don't_ need her and _not_ showing up when we _do_ need her."

Broadway spoke up, "Maybe she's waiting to show up on the nick of time…"

"Aye," Hudson continued, "But what do we do meanwhile?"

Puck, again aware of the conversation, replied, "I have a summoning spell. But I don't know if it'll work."

"Let me try it." Fox interjected, "Mother will listen to me."

"All right," said Goliath, "Then it's settled. Now, what will the clan and me do while we work this out?"

"I don't know." Elisa replied, "There's not much we _can_ do. Enjoy the hotel?"

* * *

It was a very clear night, full of stars. It was an odd sight to the clan, already accustomed to high skyscrapers. The young gargoyles of the clan, not having much to do, decided to go sight see the city.

Hudson and Goliath stayed behind. The first one was dozing off in front of the tv, the second was having a pleasant chat with Elisa in the balcony.

"Why does every wedding I attend," Goliath commented, "Must end in such an odd way? First it was Xanatos' wedding, now this one."

"I don't know, big guy. Bad karma?"

Goliath shrugged, "Anyway, it's good to get out of Manhattan every once in a while." Then he added, "Especially if I'm with you."

Elisa smiled and he smiled back. Then they continued with the petty chitchat.

* * *

While Elisa and Goliath chatted away in the lady cop's balcony, Fox was in her own room, with far more important things to do.

With some badly pronounced Latin, Fox stood in front of the hotel vanity's mirror, chanting something that meant, 'Oh, Titania, come forth tonight through this mirror, in our hour of need. Come, we seek thy eternal wisdom.'

"Nothing's happening." Maggie commented. "We've been at it for awhile now. She's not coming."

"I think she's right." Puck interjected. "Even I tried it and it didn't work."

Fox quit chanting and took a deep breath. "Then what do we do?"

"I don't know." Puck replied, rubbing his chin, "Maybe it's not reaching her. I think we gotta wait a while till we get some results. Keep doing it for 10 more minutes, then quit. All we have to do afterwards is wait. Meanwhile," he added, "I'm gonna have a shower. Keep me posted."

"You're not going to try again?" Maggie asked him.

"No, I'm tired." Puck replied, "Perhaps I'll try again tomorrow." He sighed, "After today, I'm going to need a looong _nap_…"

* * *

Vesta, Puck's so-called wife, was once again on top of the Marriott Hotel rooftop. She stared at the star-filled sky and wondered what her love, Quetxalcoalt, was doing right now.

__

How I miss you, my love…she thought, _Yet I'm cursed, with Puck as a husband to boot. What am I going to do?_

Those humans, Elisa and Fox, told her to fight for her rights, to do anything in her power to save herself. _Hmm…if Quetxalcoalt were here…what would he do?_

The proverbial light bulb turned itself on. _That's it! Don't worry Quetxalcoalt! I'm coming to you! I just need to tie up a few loose ends…_

****

ACT FOUR_  
~ Hopping the loopholes ~_

"I've got you babe, I've got you babe…" Puck hummed his little song while he showered, alone in the bathroom. It was really late and the day had been particularly distressful. He had gotten Maggie back, that was a plus, but Vesta was still around. 

As for the shower, Puck really didn't needed a shower, but it was an old Owen-habit he had. He had invited Maggie over, heh-heh, but she unfortunately had declined. But that was ok. The water made him feel fresh this time of night. 

He began to pour water over his left arm, when he heard a door shut. He turned to the side to see who was coming, and saw a shadow. "Meg? It that you?" he said.

But his voice trailed off as he saw the person slowly raise one arm. In the white light, Puck could see the glint of silver come off the raised hand, as the other hand opened the shower. "_Vesta?_" he cried out in recognition, "What are you doing!?"

"DIE YOU!" she yelled back, as that glint of sliver turned out to be a butcher knife. The fey jumped out of the shower before she could slit his throat. Vesta gave a vicious "EEEEAHH!" a la 'Xena, The Warrior Princess' style and dashed after him.

He ran out of the bathroom, jumping over the bed, hopping over the luggage, and reached the door, exited and locked it with a loud _SLAM_ behind him.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" he yelled, "SHE'S INSANE!"

Only a 70-year-old grandmother bothered to open the door. She stared at him fascinated and replied, "Shake it, baby!"

Puck shot her a funny look, then felt a breeze. "**_Holy shit, I'm NAKED_**!"

He opened up the door behind him and entered. Vesta was ready to gut him to death or do a Lorrena Bobbit imitation. He opened the door behind him and exited.

"Puck!" he heard Xanatos called after him, "Are you all---" the millionaire halted when he saw his assistant's lack of clothes. "What are you doing naked…?"

"Don't stare!" he cried as he tried to cover himself.

"Puck!" he heard Maggie, with Fox, Elisa and Goliath tagging along, "Are you all---" she stopped when she noticed him naked as a jailbird. "What are you doing naked…?"

He, embarrassed to death, hid behind his fiancée and yelled, "She's trying to kill me!" 

The door was kicked open by a very pissed-off fey woman with a butcher knife the size of Texas. "Where is he!?" she yelled, "Elisa! Fox! Help me try to kill him!"

"Whoa…" said the 70-tear-old grandmother, "Things just keep better and better…"

* * *

Back at Puck and Maggie's room, things had settled down enough for them to have an honest talk about bathrooms and men.

Puck, still wet but now wearing a bathrobe, held on to Maggie as if she were a lifeboat. At the other side of the table, Xanatos and Goliath sat down next to Vesta, in case she tried to do anything funny.

"I'm sorry," She said, "You don't understand! It's all part of my plan!"

"What plan!?" The male fey snapped.

"Look," she replied, "Only Oberon can grant us a divorce, at that's _not_ going to happen. The only way we can escape the marriage is if I become a widow!"

"Then what about me!?"

"I never said it was a _perfect_ plan…!"

Puck looked ready to pick up the butcher knife and kill her himself, but Maggie held him back. "Look," she said, "This is _not_ the way!"

"Gotta admit…" Fox commented, "The idea _has_ merit… But murder isn't going to get us anywhere."

"We need to find Titania…" Xanatos continued, "Only she can stop Oberon."

"But what's the problem?!" Vesta asked frustrated. "I can kill him and get it over with! Elisa and Fox gave me their ok too!"

"What!?" the two women snapped in unison, then Elisa asked, "When did we say _that_?"

Vesta looked at them menacing and replied, "You said that I had to do everything in my power for my love! This I do for _Quetxalcoalt!_ I'm warning you! He's coming to get me, and you," she pointed at Puck as if damning him to hell, "Outta kiss your girlfriend good-bye!"

With that, she vanished in a violent swirl of light, leaving the entire crew alarmed and disoriented.

"Well, now you've done it!" Puck snapped to the lady cop and the millionaire's wife.

"Did what!?" Fox defended herself.

"Fill her mind with all that feminist talk! Now she wants to kill me!"

"_Excuse us_ for trying to give her emotional support!" Elisa barked back. "It's not our fault she misunderstood!"

"Guys, guys!" Xanatos interjected, "Now isn't the time to play the blame game. We gotta focus on Vesta's beau in case he shows up. Or Vesta herself in case she decides to do the deed without help."

Puck replied, "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"Yeah, right." Maggie mumbled to herself, "She chased him naked down the hall and he says he's fine…"

**__**

The next morning  
9:30 am

The entire human crew of castle Wyvern made their way to the buffet cart at the Marriott's restaurant. "I'm so hungry…"---"Hope they have pancakes…"---"I hate their eggs, but whatcha gonna do?"

Xanatos, Fox and Elisa went up ahead while Maggie and Puck staggered behind. "Are you worried?" his fiancée asked Puck.

"Not really," he replied, but his face showed otherwise. "It's just that we haven't seen Vesta today. She _did_ swear to kill me and bring her boyfriend. I wonder what she's up to…"

"I thought you said you'd be fine…" Maggie told him with sarcasm.

"I never said I'm worried. I just wonder where she is, that's all." Puck replied.

Maggie let that subject go, and instead retorted, "Vesta was nothing to you, right?"

Puck, a bit alarmed by the subject change, said, "Absolutely nothing. You're my first true love."

She shot him an 'I-don't-believe-you' look, "Why, surely you must've tried a few other women… there's no point in lying about that… I just wonder how many…" Puck whistled and pretended he didn't hear that, "Well?"

"My, look at that beautiful flower vase!"

"Well!?"

"Uh, just a few, honey…"

She dropped the subject when they entered the restaurant. "Hey," Fox commented, "doesn't the restaurant seem empty today."

That was true, the restaurant was completely empty. Not even a waiter around.

"I don't know." said Xanatos, "I've got a bad feeling about this."

The restaurant's doors closed after them by some strong wind, magical no doubt. Elisa quickly tried to open them, to no avail, "All right guys," she declared, "We're trapped in here."

"Show yourself Quetxalcoalt!" Puck commanded. "We know it's you!"

In a violent flash of bright sunlight, swirling like a tornado, Quetxalcoalt appeared. The humans were thrown backwards, but the light show didn't seem disturb Puck; "Show-off." he mumbled.

Quetxalcoalt was an odd sight. His clothing seemed ancient Mayan in origin, but he also wore a Spanish conquistador breastplate and a belt with a small handle ax. In fact, the ax looked an awful lot like Hudson's sword.

The fey took a deep, royal breath and said, "I am Quetxalcoalt! Warrior God and future husband of Lady Vesta." then he added with a down-to-earth tone. "Which is the Puck?"

"That would be me, sir." Puck replied, taking a defensive stand.

"My fiancé has informed me of that regrettable turn of events which doesn't allow either party to be properly married to their beloved."

"Yes," Puck hurried to reply, "but its all Oberon's fault, I assure you."

Momentarily, Puck couldn't tell wherever the Mayan god wanted to kill him or not. He was acting civilized, a good thing. But he was ready for anything.

"I've no doubt about that." Said Quetxalcoalt. "This is probably foul play against you."

That stopped Puck in his tracks. "You… don't want to fight?"

Quetxalcoalt stared at him curiously. "No… do you?"

"No!" he quickly replied, "I mean… I thought you were mad at me or something."

"Good gracious, no! I'm a Wisdom god. I know better than going into an all-out brawl." 

Puck took a deep breath and relaxed, "Ah, so you _do_ understand! I don't want to be married to Vesta; Vesta doesn't want to be married to me. We have to part ways, get a divorce, whatever, and go on with life."

"Oh, this clears a lot of things!" Quetxalcoalt replied, relieved, "Here I thought you were competing for her love!"

"Heaven forgive! I've already got someone. You want her? Take her."

"You know," Quetxalcoalt continued, "I was worried you'd be totally irrational about this. I see you're not the insane person everyone says you are."

"Hmm…I'll take that as a compliment…"

While that conversation went down, Xanatos muttered to the others, "You know, this is creepy."

"What is?" Fox asked.

"I mean… they're talking about the problem. We usually don't get to reason with the competition."

"Hmm, that's right." Elisa affirmed, "We usually have to duke it out with them first, _then_ talk it out. MacBeth is a good example. He wasn't evil, he just didn't talk it out first. But then there's Demona, a hopeless case."

"Well, this sure will help us save time." Maggie commented.

"A pleasant change, for once." Fox finished.

Meanwhile, Puck continued, "I propose we work together to get a reasonable answer to both our problems. We're both adults, let's cooperate to end this crisis."

"Agreed, there is no point into getting into an argument." Quetxalcoalt answered, "I do so hate armed conflicts."

"What a coincidence! I also hate fighting!" said Puck, "Can't we all just get along? You know, you are one of the most reasonable persons I've ever met in my life."

"Oh, no! I am honored you think of me that way." Quetxalcoalt replied.

"Now, all we have to do now that we're friends, is look for a solution for our crisis."

"But pardon my rudeness, but dear Vesta already gave a solution."

"I'm…not sure I follow."

Quetxalcoalt sighed, "Woe is me. It is a shame I am pitted against such a potential ally. Oh, well." He took out his huge sword, "Don't worry. I'll be merciful."

"Wh--what's that!?" Puck asked, exasperated, "I though you didn't want to fight!"

"Do you plan to put up a resistance?" Quetxalcoalt said, puzzled. "Well, this is the only way to save my very dear Vesta; by making her a widow."

"You think I'm going to let you chop my head off!" Puck snapped, "That's not fair!"

"Don't resist me," Quetxalcoalt continued, "The sooner we can get this over with, the better."

Then he dove at him with the sword.

"Oh, shit." Said Xanatos, "I knew this was too good to be true. Ladies, anytime now." All three of them grabbed a chair and thew them at the Mayan god.

* * *

Puck ran down the hall screaming witlessly in panic, for the Mayan god Quetxalcoalt had just decided he posed as an inconvenience in his upcoming wedding.

"Please!" Quetxalcoalt pleaded, "Help me kill you!"

"Go! Just go!" Xanatos yelled from behind, for Xanatos was chasing Quetxalcoalt and Quetxalcoalt was chasing Puck. 

The millionaire grabbed a flower vase near him and tossed it towards Quetxalcoalt, who more startled than hurt, looked back. "Why are you doing this? Don't you wish to end your friend's pain?"

"That's sick, Quetxalcoalt!" Xanatos replied, "He's not hurt, he's just being chased by a nut case!"

"I don't have time for this! 500 invitations have been sent out! I already paid for it too!" Quetxalcoalt wailed.

Xanatos kept rambling about something, but the Mayan god didn't listen. He opted to glue the millionaire's feet to the ground, as well of those of his female companions. "Go, Puck! Go!"

* * *

__

Goddamnit! Only on this Earth! He thought panicky as he closed the janitor room's door. Next to mops and soaps, he pondered what was he going to do.

__

He doesn't strike me as one who would kill humans just because he feels like it. I could use that to my advantage…he thought as he heard suspicious footsteps come closer.

"Come out!" Quetxalcoalt pleaded, "If you don't like the ax, we could always use poison!" he began to click his tongue and said, "Here, kitty, kitty…!"

_Here kitty, kitty yourself…!_ Was all that passed through his head.

He shifted and a mop fell down with a loud clank. "There you are!" Quetxalcoalt opened the door…

…and saw only a blond, defenseless human.

The blond man leaned against the wall and said, "Don't kill me!"

"I'd never kill a human…" Quetxalcoalt replied, "Pray tell me, have you seen a young man with white-hair around here?"

The human looked puzzled and replied, "Um…no…"

Quetxalcoalt bowed curtly. "I thank you for your assistance." Then he took of running.

Owen Burnett sighed and heard the Puck inside him say, _Damn, that was a close one…_

**__**

Later, near sunset…

After some good fifteen minutes cowering in the janitor's closet, Owen took a peek outside. Quetxalcoalt was long gone, only his human companions were there, struggling in the pond of crazy glue all over their shoes.

The spent a few hours just trying to get rid of the glue, then spent even more uncomfortable hours of looking for Quetxalcoalt. The gang was just about ready to give up.

"You'd think a guy with a Spanish breastplate and a huge sword would be easier to find…" Maggie commented as they all sat down for a break in the lobby.

"He is a god, he could easily made himself invisible." Owen corrected. 

Fox shot him a sharp look, "So, what are you going to do now?"

"Right." Elisa continued, "He's _your_ would-be killer. Do something!"

Owen looked insulted, "I don't know. You can't talk sense with him. The only option I see is call Titania, and it may not work."

"We could fight back," Xanatos commented, "Tie him up in iron?"

"Then what?" Maggie questioned, "We'd have a homicidal _and_ pissed of demigod in our hands…" she turned to Owen, "The only option I see is try to reason with him…"

"That won't work." Owen replied.

The crew found that true and slumped in an uneasy silence. Elisa spoke up, "You know… sunset is near. Goliath could try to talk to him… or at least beat him up a bit. This is not a total emergency. Quetxalcoalt hasn't showed up after his hissy fit. We still have time to bring up the gargoyles to speed."

"Agreed." Xanatos spoke up. "Time's wasting. He could strike anytime now. I'll talk to the clan, Puck can call Anastasia…"

"I can't Mr. Xanatos," Owen interjected, "That would call Quetxalcoalt's attention."

"But what happened?" Maggie asked, "Why didn't he kill you back there?"

"He doesn't kill humans." Owen replied.

"So?" Fox continued, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Wait a minute…" Elisa reasoned, "He confused you with a mortal, didn't he?"

"Correct."

"Great," Xanatos replied, "So as long as you keep up the act, we'll be fine…"

However, Owen could still feel Quetxalcoalt roaming around the hotel, looking for Puck. _What am I going to do with him…?_

The sun fell, and the gargoyles, all resting atop of the hotel, woke up. They understood, and with Owen's-so-screwed grins agreed to help.

Owen decided to leave for his room with Maggie. The gargoyles offered to accompany them for the night. He declined; the fact was that the gargoyles would be effective like sling-shooting peas against an elephant. But he appreciated the gesture.

__

Besides, Quetxalcoalt doesn't kill humans…and he swears I'm one of them…"Owen, are you listening to me?" he heard Maggie said.

"What?"

She sighed. "I asked what do you wanted to do tonight?"

"A good night sleep, for starters." He replied, "But somehow, I don't think that'll happen tonight."

"You poor baby!" She consoled as she wrapped her arms around him, "Don't worry, I'll make you feel better." Then she added in a confidential tone, "I've got the cutest nightgown that makes that dress you hate so much look like a nun's dress. I _was_ going to use it on our honeymoon… but would you like a sneak preview?"

He raised his eyebrow interested. He absolutely loved it when she got kinky. Puck would've liked this, _(let me out, you traitor…!)_ but poor little him would have to suffice. "Who am I to say no?"

With lewd thoughts and sinful giggles, the couple went to their room, expecting a spectacular night…

… only Quetxalcoalt and Vesta were waiting for them, as they sat on the table drinking tea and eating crackers…

"Hello, Mss Watkins," Quetxalcoalt greeted, "We've waited for you since morning!"

"Hi!" added Vesta, "Um… pardon my rudeness, but why are you holding her like that?"

The couple looked at each other in shock. It then occurred to Owen that having his hand up Maggie's blouse wasn't a good idea, and he jumped back like a scared cat.

"What are you doing here!?" Maggie snapped.

"I'm looking for Puck." Quetxalcoalt replied. "I lost him in our previous encounter, and rather than go look for him, I decided to simply wait him out in his room."

"Oh, honey, you're so smart!" Vesta encouraged.

Owen, however, wanted to hit himself with a ton of bricks. _Here we spent the entire day looking for him…!_

"Have you seen the one in question?" Quetxalcoalt continued.

_He still doesn't know…either does Vesta… _Owen relaxed and replied, "No, we have not."

"Hey," Vesta suddenly popped, "Who are you, anyway?"

Owen went blank for a second, and Maggie replied, "He's my cousin Owen. He's from out of town."

The fey couple seemed to buy the story. "Very well," the Mayan god replied, "Have you any idea where the Puck is…?"

"He told me to tell you he didn't wish to die." Owen quickly responded.

"But he knows there's no other way." Vesta replied. "Are you friends with him…?"

"Yes…" Owen answered, and wished he didn't regret it later.

"Oh, good!" Quetxalcoalt exclaimed, "Then maybe you can deliver him a message. Tell him to show up… I really don't want to prolong this further. He can even choose the way to die! Beheaded, electrified--- you name it, we got it!"

_They make it sound like a service!_ Owen thought enraged, then forced himself to say, "I'll see what I can do…"

Meanwhile, Goliath charged in saying, "Owen, me and the clan have figured out a way to stop Que---" he stopped himself when he saw the one in question stare back at him.

"Goliath!" Maggie exclaimed, "I'd like you to meet my _cousin_ Owen!"

The gargoyle seemed at loss for a second, but made a rebound. "Of course. Glad to meet you, Maggie's cousin…"

"Likewise…"

All of them stared at each other for a few uncomfortable minutes. Stare. Stare. More staring.

Maggie cleared her throat and turned to the fey couple. "I'm… I would really like to go to sleep now…"

"I think we'll stay and wait for Puck." Quetxalcoalt replied.

Maggie could feel herself sweating, "It's better if you leave…" Quetxalcoalt gave her a sharp look and reached to his big sword. "But what do I know! Stay! Be comfortable! Use the mini-bar!"

The Mayan calmed down. Goliath turned to Owen and said, "Come, Maggie's cousin… have you met the rest of the clan…?"

"I'd love to…" Owen replied nervously, then gave a saddened look to Maggie, "I'll see you in the morning…"

"Right…" she said, equally disturbed, "Till morning…"

* * *

In Xanatos' suit, Owen paced nervously. "He kidnapped her."

"I wouldn't call it kidnapping," Goliath commented, "More like a well-placed bait…"

"Same concept. She can't leave."

The whole crew stared at each other wondering what to do now. The immortal couple had decided to stay over with Maggie to eat and play poker, waiting for Puck to come. But Puck wasn't going to that. He was going to plan some way to get rid of the Mayan before he chopped his head off.

"You know, the next wedding will be at Wyvern. We have weapons there…" Xanatos remarked.

"All right, any suggestions?" Goliath asked out-loud.

Brooklyn was the first to speak up. "I say charge. Mr. Q won't understand anything beyond brute force."

"And give him a reason to start killing mortals?" Elisa answered, "No. Maybe sneak her out, take the car and run."

"Run where? He'll find Puck anyway." Fox interjected.

"Negotiation?" Lex asked away.

"Nope, he's totally convinced this is the way out." Broadway contributed.

"Maybe we should dope him." Angela commented, "They're ordering a lot of coffee. That's our chance."

The gargoyles began to reply that it was an absurd solution, but Owen stopped it when he said, "It could work…"

The bickering came to a halt, "How?" Goliath asked.

"Iron. Iron dust. Some kind of food or drink with large concentration of iron." Owen replied.

"But what? Iron vitamins? Where can we find something with lots of iron?" Hudson questioned. "What are we going to do? Drop a little iron ball in their food and hope they choke on it?"

"Well, it doesn't have to be iron stuff? How about sleeping pills? Liquor?" Angela added.

"Get them drunk and trick him into promising he's not going to hurt Puck-type?" Brooklyn commented.

Then the proverbial light bulb lit up to Owen, "That's it…! Make him promise! Quetxalcoalt is a Wisdom god. He loves vows and honor and the like… so if I could only… then maybe I could… double talk him and…"

"You've got to be kidding…" Angela told him.

"Never underestimate him…" Owen replied, "I assure you, this could work."

With an idea already forming in his mind, all those years he had spent in the business world were starting to pay off. Quetxalcoalt was a gullible little thing and he was a trickster. It didn't take a genius to figure out something.

* * *

Maggie twisted and turned in her bed, turning to the ceiling, to the door, to the window and to the alarm clock, then starting all over again.

Though she was tired, she couldn't shut her eyes for one second, knowing that a pair of immortals wanted to kill her would-be husband. _I wonder what he's up to…_

She heard the room's main doors open and someone entered. "It's me, Maggie's cousin." She perked up when she heard that, "And I'm here to negotiate Puck's terms of surrender."

__

WHAT? Maggie wondered, _What is he doing…?!_ But it was Owen speaking, and Quetxalcoalt had no idea that was Puck in disguise.

"Oh, do sit down my good sir." Quetxalcoalt said, "Tea?"

"No, thank you." Owen replied politely. "I'm Puck's nearest thing he has for a best friend, so he sent me to negotiate."

"What's to discuss?" Vesta asked, slightly annoyed. "He shows up, we kill him. I know it sounds cruel but that's the way it is."

"But he's worried." Owen replied, "He is the tutor of a wonderful child named Alex, and he is worried for his safety."

"Pish-posh." Quetxalcoalt retorted. "He has an entire clan to play with him."

If that was some sort of obstacle, Owen didn't show it. "You have to understand… this is Titania's grandson we are talking about and she made Puck the child's magical tutor."

Vesta arched an eyebrow, and said, "My… you sure seem to know a lot about this… considering how you've met the gargoyle clan just a few hours ago."

"E-mail." Owen quickly responded. "I'm Puck's closest confidant. He never hides anything from me. As a matter of fact, I introduced him to Maggie."

That nugget of information was fascinating to Vesta. "Interesting. To be perfectly frank, I never thought him the marrying type. More like shy of commitment. I mean, he slept with me and never bothered to visit."

Out of morbid curiosity, Owen replied, "Yes, he mentioned that but claimed he couldn't remember it well. I suppose you do…?"

"Yep." Vesta said, "All talk, barely no action. For someone of his statue, you'd think he'd be better at it… but it wasn't all bad… but he was really, really fast…"

__

Ouch! Was all Maggie could think. _That's gotta hurt his pride… I bet his ego is on intensive care…_

Truer words were never spoken. _You little bitch! So you know, you weren't THAT good either…! If you had only bothered to try back then, I would've remembered…!_ However, Owen bit his tongue before it got the better of him. "Anyway," he continued as he changed the subject, "Not only is Puck worried over his ward, he is also worried about the clan itself, all his friends, his fiancée," then couldn't help but add, "and me…"

"What does he want…?" Quetxalcoalt demanded.

"Full immunity for everyone. That means the gargoyles, the Xanatos family, Maggie Watkins and Owen Burnett. All of them."

"And you're Owen."

"That's right."

"All right!" said Quetxalcoalt as he rubbed his hands together and popped a pen out of nowhere. "Where do I sign?"

Owen laid down the paper in the table. "On the dotted line, please." Quetxalcoalt didn't even bother to read the paper he just signed. "You too Mss Vesta." She also signed, without reading.

Owen gave a puckish, evil grin and replied, "Brother… sister… It's been a pleasure doing business with you."

Vesta and Quetxalcoalt looked at each other alarmed. "Why do I get the feeling…" he began.

"… that we've been had…" Vesta finished.

Faster than a blink of the eye, Puck's white-haired figure appeared before them. "I win! I win!"

Quetxalcoalt took out his sword and asked, "What treachery is this!? You were Owen all the time!?"

"That's right, Mayan dude!" Puck said triumphantly. "And you can't even kill me! It's in our contract!"

"What!?" Vesta burst out.

"The fine print! Always read the fine print!" Puck took out the contract and popped Owen's glassed from thin air, and began to solemnly recite. "We, Quetxalcoalt and Vesta, of sound mind and judgement, solemnly swear to never touch, harm, murder, or even try to murder or pay some third party of person or persons to murder or harm in any way at all, the following list of people," he read all the names of all the castle inhabitants, "---and Owen Burnett, _whoever_ or _whatever_ they may _be_ or _pretend_ to be. So---" blows raspberry, "---on you."

__

Way to go! Maggie thought, _Never mess with the master trickster!_

The fey couple looked at each other humiliated and defeated. "We… lost…"

"Oh, don't blubber. You never stood a chance." Puck said indifferent, "Excuse me while I go pick my fiancée and leave. I suggest you go have a good night sleep and drown in the sea of pity somewhere else. It's late. Oh, yeah. Don't forget to get a life too."

While Puck hugged and kissed with Maggie, something in the wise and just Mayan god snapped. _For that little creep was **not getting away with it!**_

****

ACT FIVE_  
~ Revenge served cold and with French fries to boot ~_

****

The Marriott Hotel and Resort  
Syracuse, NY; morning

His snoring woke her up rather early in the morning, though she could've slept in for a few more hours. Not that she blamed him. These last few days were hectic, to say the least. First, her would-be father-in-law breaks off the wedding and brings Vesta, Puck's so-called 'wife'. Then Vesta brings her own fiancé, Quetxalcoalt, and tries to murder Puck. Then Owen-type managed to trick them into submission.

All that in the record time of three days.

Now, at least, they deserved a few days rest. A vacation from this vacation. Like sleeping in all day.

She had tried to wake Owen up, but he muttered something about five more minutes, so she left him alone. As for her, she quickly dressed up to join Fox in calling Queen Titania.

It was a very simple ritual and Maggie had already memorized it. Fox stood in front of her mirror with a little bell, chanting what Puck had taught her in Latin. Alex, the little boy, was watching the whole show; proud that mommy was doing magic too.

However, all of them were beginning to question the usefulness of the spell, "Maybe you're saying it wrong…" Maggie commented.

"No, this is the way it is. Leave it to mother to play hard to get." Fox replied.

"You don't have a high image of her. What is she like anyway?"

"Titania?" Fox sighed. "I don't know. I used to know back when she was plain old Anastasia. But then I found out she was really Titania and learned that I knew nothing. Whatever. One thing is for sure---she's full of surprises, I'll grant her that." Then she continued chanting.

"Maybe she's doing this to spite you."

"Maybe." Fox admitted, "But the Anastasia I know wouldn't let Oberon get away with this. I'm thinking that she isn't home or something. But she'll hear it sooner or later."

Actually, it was more sooner than later when the mirror in front of Fox began to glow in green. "It's working! It's working!" Fox cried triumphantly.

The mirror seemed like a vertical pond. The reflecting image changed from Fox and Maggie to some petite figure staring back at them.

It was a little girl. Not exactly human, judging from the long purple hair and the pointed ears. "That's Titania?" Maggie questioned, incredulous.

"No! Who--are you?" Fox asked to the mirror girl.

"I am Mustardseed, one of Lady Titania's servants. Who seeks the Faerie Queen?"

"Her daughter. Could you tell her to come over here?" Fox replied.

"Oh, the Queen would be delighted to attend you, but she isn't here. She is at Hecate's festival in Greece."

"Well, bring her here!" the millionaire's wife demanded.

"I'd love to, but she is far away. The best I can do is deliver her a message."

Maggie and Fox stared at each other wondering what to do next. With a disapproving grunt, Fox replied, "Tell her that her daughter needs to talk to her and it is an emergency and we're not joking."

Mustardseed gave a curtly bow and replied, "I will deliver your message. Knowing the Queen, expect reply today or tomorrow." The vision vanished and the mirror was once more a plain old mirror.

"All right," said Maggie, "We've got nothing to worry about. Quetxalcoalt's gone, so is Vesta. So we talk to the queen, have her grant Puck a divorce, and that's that. All we have to do is wait."

Fox wasn't so enthusiastic. "It ain't over till the fat lady sings, remember that. Quetxalcoalt's on the loose and extremely pissed-off. It's safer to think that he's out there plotting revenge. Relaxing could get you killed."

* * *

Owen gave a tired yawn and gave a quick glance at the watch. It was nearly 10 am. He never slept in that late. He was almost ashamed of that.

"This is weird," he heard a voice call. "First you're getting married, then you're sleeping until late. I guess hell is really freezing over."

"A momentary lapse, I assure you." Owen replied, staggering to get up.

David Xanatos gave a sly smile. "Yes, I guess I could let it pass for today in honor of the good news."

"Good news?"

"We contacted Titania. She's on her way."

"That is wonderful news!" Owen said, actually smiling.

"Well, we didn't get Titania herself. We got a servant. Titania is at some kind of festival and the servant assured she would get our message."

Owen found that detail wasn't as important as the fact they contacted someone at Avalon. Titania wouldn't miss a meeting with her daughter for all the festivals in the world.

"Now, that it's all over we have to plan the whole wedding again." Xanatos continued.

"Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves?" Owen commented. " Quetxalcoalt is still on the loose."

"Oh, please. The battle is practically ours." Replied the millionaire. "All we have to do is wait it out… now, let's get lunch. Or breakfast in your case."

With that, he cajoled Owen into getting dressed and coming down for food. Owen didn't understand the rush, hotel food was awful. He seriously considered doing the wedding back at Wyvern. Besides, they already tried the big wedding and it turned into a disaster. Maybe Maggie would see it his way and make a small, discreet wedding. That way, any would-be saboteurs wouldn't know about it until weeks after the ceremony.

As for right now, all he could do was wait. The 'contract' and life insurance was in his pocket, and he swore to himself to not let it go until he had the divorce papers in his hands.

It was only a piece of paper, but a magical pact was written in it. More than that, it was a psychological weapon. Fey never broke magical pacts, including him and Quetxalcoalt. If the Mayan tried something funny, he could always shove the paper in his face and claim it was against the rules.

The game was set and won. All he had to do was claim the prize.

They entered the restaurant, a broken chair from yesterday still lying in a corner. The good news was that no one knew how or who broke it, so Xanatos didn't have to pay for it.

However, a dark cloud settled over the salad bar when both men noticed Quetxalcoalt and Vesta were also there. They were both more human-looking now, but Owen still noticed the huge sword at Quetxalcoalt's side.

"Look who decided to show," said Vesta, "Good morning, Mr. Burnett… if that's your real name…"

"Still around?" Owen questioned with a puckish grin that gave him away, "Whatever for?"

"It's a free country, brother dear." The Mayan god replied.

"A friendly reminder: you can't touch me. We made a pact."

"That's not easy to forget, trickster." Vesta retorted. "I have to admit, that was a very clever loophole."

"Yes, I am rather proud of that." Owen said, letting Puck shine through like a sun.

"Let's go Owen," Xanatos quickly interjected. "The waitress is waiting for us."

Xanatos knew very well that having them all in the same restaurant wasn't terribly smart, but neither party would budge. Owen had this puckish 'I-dare-you-to-do-something' look while Quetxalcoalt and Vesta gave him black looks. Any moment, all hell would break loose and poor little rich boy David Xanatos would be in the way.

__

Better enjoy lunch…it might be my last…

* * *

Back at Fox's suite, all was well as Elisa and Co. chatted about wherever their hair looked better up or down. Eventually, they got bored of that and decided to have a deep, philosophical talk.

"I'm telling you! Kate Wislet looks too old for Leonardo DiCaprio! She looks thirty!" said Fox.

"It's true." Elisa continued, "She _does_ look fat…"

"I think they make a _cute_ couple!" Maggie retorted.

"Just look at the suicidal scene. I hate that dress!" Fox commented, "No wonder she wanted to commit suicide."

"She looks fat, fat, fat… They should've killed her and saved Leo."

"Leo belongs in the hunk hall of fame, right next to Ricky Martin and that guy from George of the Jungle."

The conversation was cut short with a knock in the door and a bellboy yelling, "Room service."

The three women looked at each other and Elisa asked, "Did anyone order room service." The others shook their heads, but Elisa went to check anyway. 

"Hey, like, your pizza ma'am."

"We didn't order anything."

The bellboy, a young man with a spaced out look, replied, "You didn't? Like, bummer."

"But we'll take it anyway." Fox called from behind. Elisa wondered why while Fox paid the man, "It's lunch time already. Why go down?"

With that, Elisa shrugged, take it all for the best.

* * *

In the restaurant, world didn't end after all. Quetxalcoalt and Vesta left shortly after. However, Owen hadn't paid much attention to his food while Xanatos had already cleared the bill. "I'm not hungry anyway…"

"Suit yourself," the millionaire yawned, "I'm going up. What are you going to do? Go after them?"

"No, not at all. I'll just stay around."

Xanatos found himself too tired to give a coherent answer, he just shrugged and left. _Creeps,_ the Puck echoed, _why are those guys still around…? Maybe I will follow them…_

He spent the next half an hour snooping around the hotel. The couple was long gone by now, but he wanted to make sure. Eventually, he got bored of it.

But one very interesting happening brought back his interest in the case. Like the paramedics dragging a fainted guy to infirmary, who looked a lot like Xanatos.

In fact, it _was_ Xanatos.

__

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Not a day goes by without an assassination attempt! I'm never going to get married at this rate! With that thought dancing in his head, he charged after Xanatos' paramedics.

* * *

With the now-empty pizza box in the floor, the three women from the Wyvern commiserated over the evils of indigestion.

"I hate indigestion, I hate pizza, I hate Kate Wislet…"

"What's happening? I feel so tired…" Elisa moaned.

A bright burst of light brought all the answers as Quetxalcoalt and his lover appeared. "Look, beloved," said Vesta, "The wenches are sick like dogs."

"Whom are you calling a dog!?" Fox burst out, while the room kept spinning.

Quetxalcoalt grabbed Maggie by the arm while the other two struggled not to pass out. "Sleep, mortals, our business is not with you, but with Mss Watkins and her fiancé."

"You poisoned the food!" Elisa concluded.

"Yes," Vesta replied, "I've found mortals never resist pizza. Plus, it's not a poison; it's a sleeping potion. After all, we _did_ sign a contract vowing not to kill you. So have a merry nap now. Dream a little dream of me!"

Vesta's gleeful giggle was the last thing all of them heard.

* * *

In the hotel infirmary, another human was taking a nap. "That's right, Mr. Burnett." Said the nurse. "A nap."

"It's not a poison?" Owen asked, bewildered.

"No. Sleeping pill. But we can't wake him up."

"Hmm… allow me…" he went to Xanatos, laying in the sofa and snoring. "**_WAKE UP MR. XANATOS!_**"

The millionaire let out a yelp and a shriek of horror, then in the shock, he fell of the sofa, "Where!? Where!?"

"Whoa," muttered the nurse, "I guess that's one way to do it…"

"They put you to sleep, Mr. Xanatos." Owen said calmly.

"Who? Where?… Quetxalcoalt…?" Xanatos stuttered.

"Who else?"

"I thought he was under contract against not killing us…!"

"Let him, now I've got another reason to make Titania punish him." Owen replied, "We have to warn the others."

Both of them made their way to the suites only they would never reach it. For Vesta was there in the middle of the hallway, with a terribly smug look in her face; while Quetxalcoalt held of to Maggie like a sack of potatoes.

"What do you think you're doing!?" Owen snapped, completely reverting to Puck as he finished the sentence.

"Oh, now, 'husband'. You think you're the only one that can find loopholes?" Vesta replied.

"You're harming her! I'll make sure Titania has your head for this breach in our pact!" Puck barked.

"We're not breaking the pact, we're bending it. She's not dying; she's sleeping. Dreaming of you, actually. You should feel flattered." Quetxalcoalt explained.

"That's not a loophole!" Puck said frustrated, as he turned to Xanatos helpless, "Is it…?"

"That's a very good loophole, Puck." Xanatos was forced to admit.

"I'm sorry I've had to sink to this level, brother." Quetxalcoalt continued, "But you've left me no choice. You've humiliated me, and for that she will pay. Unless you don't give your own life, your lover will give hers. After all, we can't kill her…" 

Puck shook his head bewildered, _what is that supposed to mean…?!_

"Now, _I_ dare _you_ to take a trip down memory lane!" Vesta retorted. "I'll wait for you in the place of our first date. I bet they'll be playing our song too." 

The couple disappeared in a bright burst of light and wind, almost knocking the fey and the mortal down; in the hallway, only the echo of her giggle remained.

* * *

"First date?!" asked Xanatos, "I thought you never dated her!"

"I didn't!" Puck defended himself. "First date… I met her in at Hecate's festival in Greece. I have to go there. But what did she meant by 'playing our song'… the festival is in two months… "

Fox suddenly snapped awake. "No, it isn't."

Puck gave her a funny look, "How do you know?"

"The girl in the mirror told me." She replied, "Titania is there."

Still groggy, the cop and the ex-mercenary tried to piece together the puzzle. "You never remembered what happened while you were drunk, right?"

"And what's with that pact, they're going to kill her?" Elisa continued.

"They can't! Not unless they find a loophole!" Puck exclaimed.

"What happens at those 'festivals'?" Elisa questioned.

"It's just a big party… no big deal. Obviously, I'm not wanted there since I've just found out it's this month and…" he suddenly stopped himself. "That's it!"

"What?" the cop asked.

"Anansi was having sex!"

They all shot him an unflattering look. "What does that have to do with anything?" Xanatos interjected.

"…with a human!"

"I don't see the connection…" Elisa commented, "They're going to rape her to death?"

Puck shot her an annoyed and disgusted look, "No, you perverted woman!" he barked, "Humans are not supposed to go there!"

"…and?" Xanatos continued.

"Because you're SO stupid, I'll spell it out to you." Puck said enraged, "The main activity in the festival ---besides sex--- is the fairy ring, like those in the stories. The women gather around, dance in a circle and join their power. Because of it, they change the flow of time in the forest. If a human eats or drinks something there, when he leaves, he ages and dies." He said, "_That's_ what they meant. She's going to kill herself if she eats something!"

"That's…"

"…awful!"

"I have to go there." Puck said determined.

"I hate to be a pessimist one, but they want your head!" Xanatos replied, "I'm going with you."

"You can't, you know you can't." he turned to Fox, "The girl told you Titania was there. Are you sure she said that?"

"Yes…"

"Good." He said the most serious any of them had heard him. "That way we finish this tonight!"

****

ACT SIX_  
~ Hecate's festival ~_

It had all gone extremely well.

In the dark Grecian forest where her people danced the night away, Lady Titania had to give herself kudos for the organization of the activity. Nothing major had happened. Which was a pleasant change from the last year, when Thor took on Loki, or the year before that, when the Weird Sisters got into a cat-fight with the Banshee.

It was a pity Oberon didn't come along, though she knew he found it boring. But that was back then in the 1700's. Those were peaceful times. Now… well… they were nothing short of a pandemonium.

Nevertheless, this year she got the feeling that everything was going to be all right.

* * *

Maggie opened her eyes to find herself in the arms of the mighty Quetxalcoalt. Her reaction was quick, she yelled, "GET OFF ME!"

"Relax, fair one." He replied as he let her down.

She found herself wearing some kind of medieval dress. It was white and airy, and it reminded her of pictures of dresses that fairies are supposed to wear. But her looks were strictly secondary to the fact that she had been kidnapped. "Take me back! Now!"

"I can't do that." He replied, "Besides, you'd never forgive yourself if you missed this. Welcome to the mighty Hecate's festival!"

She took a look around. She realized she was in a forest and near her were many people with pointed ears and odd hair coloring. _Fairies…?_ She thought, _I'm at a fey party?_ In the background, she could see women in a circle dancing around a fire, laughing and flying like ghosts. Vesta was there too, and she looked as if she was having the time of her life. _Amazing…_

"I know." Quetxalcoalt replied, reading her thoughts.

But her look turned into a stern one. "Where is Puck?"

"Oh, he'll be coming soon." The Mayan lord replied. "You be a good little girl and stay here."

"Like hell I will!" she barked, and took off into the contrary direction of the ring, and out the spellbound forest.

But then she felt a strong wind knock her back into the forest. No matter how much she thought, the wind won the fight.

Quetxalcoalt gave a hearty chuckle. "Now, now. Don't fight so much. Enjoy the party. Eat, drink, have a good time. How do they say…? 'Party like the gods'?"

He disappeared, just like that.

* * *

He arrived there shortly after with a burst of light. No one noticed, of course, everyone was busy doing whatever.

There was music in the air, and the women were already dancing in the ring. It was a show like no other, and this brought back many memories, but now it wasn't the time to rejoice in them.

One quick look told him that not many things had changed. There were a few guys around, getting drunk, and there were a few couples trying to 'perpetuate the Third Race' very loudly.

"Anansi?" he asked to one nearby.

The spider, now with human body, said, "Uh… hi. I'm… kind of busy right now. We'll talk later…" The girl he was with pulled him back. 'Oh, yes, baby, oh, yes!' was what Puck heard, as he decided to make his discreet exit. The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

Rather than watch and hear the horrors from beyond, he headed where there was the main action, the 'good side' of the party, where the women were dancing and the food was served.

The first thing he had to do was find both Maggie and Titania, the most urgent being Maggie, to warn her against the food. But he had forgotten how big the forest really was. This could take awhile. And time was a precious commodity not to be wasted.

If Maggie ever ate anything here, he didn't honestly know what to do. He'd probably find the damned Quetxalcoalt and his equally damned wife and kill them both. Then he'd be the widow, how about that? A taste from their own medicine.

Vowing revenge with every step, he took off looking for Maggie, Titania, or the fey couple; seeking to marry, beg for help, or kill whomever he found first.

* * *

"There he is, my love." Said Vesta to her all-mighty fiancé, regarding her poor excuse for a husband, oblivious to them. "Has the wench eaten anything?"

"Not yet." Quetxalcoalt replied. "It's not like I could force her. It's against the rules. It would be killing her by our hands." 

"Then what do we do?"

"I'm not sure. Keep her the hell away from the Puck is one thing… here's what you'll do…"

* * *

Maggie wondered around alone in the forest. She could do anything but get out. The entire forest had a force field of some kind that held her in. Thankfully, it was a very big forest, so she could run away from the fairy ring where Vesta was dancing.

__

In hungry…why am I hungry? I just ate pizza… It was night already, so she guessed that must have been a few hours ago. _Now what? Cruise for snacks?_

It was either stand in the forest all alone or return to the party. Puck barely spoke of his friends and cousins of Avalon; he mentioned them rather sporadically to boast about some prank. But he seemed to enjoy talking about some guys named Coyote and Raven. It occurred to her to go find them, and maybe they would help her leave.

It was very, very dark out here, away from the party. Only the moon provided light, and it wasn't much. _How the hell did I managed to get so far away…_

She heard something move behind her. She tried to ignore it; it couldn't be some human psycho, it was impossible.

But it could be a fey psycho.

She moved faster.

Maggie tried to convince herself it was only a squirrel, but the 'squirrel' was following her closely. "Show yourself!" she finally burst. "I'm no coward! If you're going to kill me, at least face me!"

Something jumped from a tree, landing right in front of her. A squirrel it was not. It was Vesta, with a smug look in her face.

"My, if it isn't my 'husband's' mistress…" she sneered.

Maggie was scared beyond belief, but managed to reel herself in, as to not give her the satisfaction of begging for mercy. Instead, she tried summoning her courage. 

"So, like, what do you want? You know, I'm not afraid of you. Just because you, like, control the universe and stuff, I'm not going to cower. You, like, know that, don't you. And you can't kill me. It's, like, in our contract." she said, trying to sound brave, but coming out like an airhead bimbo. 

Vesta regarded her with amused contempt and stared at her with a devious smirk. "WHATWASTHAT!" she suddenly snapped, pointing behind her.

"Don't kill me! Don't kill me! Don't kill me!" Maggie began wailing as she ran back towards the fairy ring.

"Bwahahaha! Prepare to die, little human!" Vesta laughed wickedly as she flew after her.

* * *

Elsewhere, more specifically, near the fairy ring, Puck staggered around frustrated; asking here and there about wherever they'd seen a woman with short brown hair around. Responses ranged from 'No' to 'Get lost'. He'd just spent the last half hour getting funny looks from the rest of the fey, wondering what he, Lord Oberon's kicked-out ex-servant, was doing there.

Now he was ranging on angry. "I swear…if I get my hands on Quetxalcoalt…" he muttered to himself. "I can't even get married in peace…"

So far, he hadn't found anyone, which only piqued him even more. _Where the hell is Quetxalcoalt!? You'd think he'd challenge me or something…_ The whole ordeal didn't make any sense. This was one of those times in his endless existence he didn't honestly know what to do.

__

So, ok, suppose I want to make Maggie eat something without making it obvious that it's poisoned…It's not like they could force her to, that would be murder and a breach in contract. _'Eat, damn you, eat'? No, I don't think so…_

The only logical course of action was to keep looking for everyone. But he couldn't shake that feeling that he was wasting his time and that he was doing absolutely nothing to remedy the situation. It was a sickening knot in his stomach that he couldn't make out.

"So this is how panic feels like…" he mumbled bitterly.

* * *

Panic is what Maggie felt as she dashed and ran and hopped and kept on running in the dark forest, with Vesta hot on her trail.

"Boo-hoo!" she heard Vesta call, "Nobody wants to play with me!"

This was an obvious breach on contract. Vesta was trying to kill her, for goodness' sake, wasn't that against the rules? _'Don't worry',_ he said, _'they can't hurt us' _he said. She was really going to let him have it if she lived long enough to.

She heard Vesta giggle her disgusting giggle as she hovered above her. As for Maggie, she ran faster. Why she hadn't blasted her into the middle of the sun yet was beyond her. _Maybe she's like an animal, playing with her food…_Obviously, that thought didn't help her much, just made her run faster. Amazing the thoughts that cross the head in instants of complete panic.

"Run, run, harlot! Faster, faster!"

"Drop--- (huff)---dead--- (puff)---you evil bitch!" Maggie tried to yell, but she was out of breath from that entire running.

"Not good enough! You must run faster!" Vesta exclaimed joyously. "Here's a little incentive!"

Maggie suddenly felt something furry running along her. Lot's of furry things all around her. And there were cats behind her. Were the cats chasing her… or just the furry things? "RATS!" she squealed as she indeed ran faster.

Thousands and thousands of disgusting rats were running beside her. "Why does it always have to be_ **rats**!?_" she cried.

* * *

"Come on, guys! Help me find her!" Puck cajoled to Coyote and Raven, the two tricksters who had once been his trusted allies. However, that wasn't the case anymore.

"No way!" Coyote replied, "You betrayed me with Xanatos."

"How was I supposed to know he'd melt the Cauldron to make that android!" Puck defended himself. "So, like, I might've mentioned something but…"

"So you admit it!" Coyote exclaimed.

Coyote was a hopeless case, and though he really liked him, now wasn't the time to patch up with him. Instead he turned to Raven, who replied, "Well, I'm kind of busy right now. I'm waiting for my woman to get out from the ring dance. I promised her I'd wait right here."

"Is your woman more important than mine!?" he snapped.

"Yes."

"Wait…" Puck said as she shook his head. "That didn't came out right… What I meant to say is that if our friendship is more important than a woman?"

"Yes."

Puck was without words for the briefest moment in time.

"Screw you guys! I don't need you anyway!" he finally snapped, "Don't come running to me when Grandmother finds out you've been cheating on her with a big breasted bimbo!"

He marched out of there stomping his foot loudly on the ground. _Screw them! Screw them! I've never needed them before, why start now?!_

"You know," He heard Coyote call from behind, "If it makes you feel better, that Quetxalcoalt guy you're looking for has been spying on us all the time!"

He turned back to face the trickster duo once more, but then Quetxalcoalt jumped off a tree and landed right in front of him. Still annoyed, he burst out to Coyote, "Thank you for making me loose my time."

The sarcasm flew right pass him. "Anytime."

Now Quetxalcoalt faced him, and he had a horribly conceited look in his face. "Has the trickster found his bride yet?"

"I'm still in the process." Puck replied dryly.

"Why do you bother with that mortal? There are so many fine women among our kind. Look at them." 

He gestured to the women dancing in the ring. He was right, of course. All of them were goddesses; all of them were beautiful. But right now, they didn't seem so impressive like they once were a hundred years ago. 

"Look at them," Quetxalcoalt continued, "All of them dancing, most of them single. What's the point in marrying a human?"

"I want to marry her for the same reason you want to marry Vesta. For love. Love makes all defects vanish." He couldn't help but add, "You must be truly in love with Vesta to want to marry her… considering what a bitch she is for the rest of us…"

Quetxalcoalt shot him a look and replied, "I must say the same for you and Maggie. Why else would you marry a woman built like a stick?"

Puck frowned and clutched his hands in fists. "Right. Why else would you marry such a poor performer in bed…?"

The Mayan god was angered. "Why else would you marry a slightly overweight wench?"

"Maggie's not overweight! At least she doesn't sleep around like yours does!"

"Don't worry! She'll be dead weight when I'm through with her!" Quetxalcoalt exclaimed.

"Where is she?!"

Quetxalcoalt smirked an evil smirk and replied, "You're never going to see her again, I'll make sure of that."

But Quetxalcoalt was cut short by a familiar high-pinch scream coming straight at them. Puck looked around eagerly, but only saw some rats scurrying out of the darkness and into the light. "Rats? What the--?"

Even the women in the ring stopped dancing when Maggie jumped to Puck, and hugged him with all her might. "Maggie!" he declared, static. "I never thought I'd see you again!"

"Rrrra…ah…" she tried to mumble, but she was out of breath.

"Don't worry, I'll get us out of here, just you wait…!" She must have been so happy to see him again, because she was hugging him with all her might. "There, there." He said, consoling here. She must have been so afraid, she was holding so tight. "Don't worry, honey. I'm your love! Your protector! Your---"

"Rat! RAT!"

He shot her a puzzled look. "I'm your rat?"

Then he noticed she wasn't just hugging him, she was holding him as a shield against something. The 'something' seemed to be lots of squeaks coming right towards the party area.

"Eek!" a woman from the ring yelped. "It's a rat!"

The reality of the situation clicked to Puck all too quickly. For hell was about to break loose as a thousand rats came straight at them. In was a horde, a wave of black, squeaking rats coming at them. There was no delay in the response. The women of the ring broke up and letting out frighten shrieks, they jumped on the tables to scream their minds off.

The Weird Sisters were among the first on the tables. The Lady of the Lake tripped over the caviar. Anansi and girlfriend ran butt naked towards cover. The women of the ring gave collective shrieks and ran around like wimps all through the place.

The rats soon smelled the food and started to dig in, while disgusted party guests ran, flew or crawled out of the battlefield. They were in the food, they were in the drinks, and they were everywhere. There were thousands and thousands of disgusting rats, or it seemed like it, as Puck levitated with Maggie in arms, as not to get swamped with the rats.

Then came the cats, chasing after the rats. It was one spectacle Puck could've done without, as thousands upon thousands of cats decided to eat the rats. They were all of different classes and colors, but they were hard to make out in the entire wave. Lots of frighten rats and partygoers cowered and ran out of the was-but-not-anymore party.

The cats were chasing the rats and the rats were chasing the fey and the fey ran like cowards. 

And Coyote told Raven, "Cool! And I wasn't even coming this year!"

* * *

Lady Titania, Queen of Avalon, popped out of nowhere, with a bright burst of multicolored lights. She saw how the rats took over the banquet tables a chased her subjects away. And, needless to say, she was disgusted. "What sorcery is this!" she cried out, then added, "HALT!"

The rats froze in place, then vanished like ghosts without any flashy burst of light. The cats also vanished along with the rats. 

"My lady!" Puck called out, as he floated down to the ground, letting Maggie go from his arms and throwing himself to his knees. "I humble myself to you and ask for mercy!"

"Puck? Stand my child. What's going on?" Titania asked. 

It had been awhile since the Puck thrown himself at _any_one's mercy. Thankfully, no one was around to see it. Everyone had run away in the rat-attack.

"My lady, a great injustice has been done to me." he replied, "Surely, you've heard of my marriage with the mortal Margaret Watkins." He gestured to Maggie, who was along his side.

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry I couldn't attend."

"My Queen, the wedding never was!" he exclaimed, "My lord and your husband broke it off before we exchanged vows!"

"What? Explain it to me!"

He spoke so quickly, Titania had a hard time taking it all in. Puck retold his story, without taking a breath, twice. Twice, because he had been so nervous the first time, he had practically rushed incoherently. Not that repeating it did any good, now he was going faster.

"---sohegoesaftermewiththeswordgluesXanatostothefloorand---"

"Stop it!" Titania commanded, "Breath!" He did as ordered. "Good. Now, let me see if I understood. Oberon broke up your wedding, claiming you were already married to Vesta. Neither Vesta or you want to be married, but Vesta manages to call her boyfriend, Quetxalcoalt, and tries to murder you. Is that right…?"

"Yes! Then he kidnaps Maggie and brings her here!"

"You know she will die if she eats something from here."

"Yes, I know! That was the whole point!"

"Where is she? Where's Quetxalcoalt?"

"Maggie's right---" Puck looked panicked for a second when he saw Maggie had left. "Where the hell is she?"

He took a look around saw Quetxalcoalt with Maggie. "Speaking of heat, are you thirsty? Would you like refreshments? Something to eat?"

"Oh, yeah actually! Vesta made me run for one full hour!"

Puck snarled, "Oh, no you don't!" he said as he pulled her away from Quetxalcoalt. "How dare you try to trick her under my nose! Have the decency of not doing it in my face!"

"I'm sorry. Would you like an entrée too?"

"Don't be nice neither! You make me sick!" Puck snapped as he grabbed Maggie by the arm. "Let's go Meg!… Meg?"

She looked up to him, her mouth stuffed with entrées. She mumbled something that sounded like, "Why can't I eat anything?"

He flinched and frenzied. "Spit it! Spit it!" he replied as he hit her in the back as if she were choking on it. But he only made her swallow it.

Puck's world came crumbling down as Titania turned to Quetxalcoalt and said, "How dare you feed that poor girl some our food! Why do you wish to kill her!?"

Maggie snapped up alarmed. "This is poison!?!"

"My lady," said Vesta as she popped in a burst of light. "This is our revenge! The Puck tricked us and now he's being punished!"

"What did he do?" Titania asked.

"He humiliated us!" Quetxalcoalt interjected. "Besides, it was supposed to be a fair exchange between her life and Puck's! It's not my fault she's a glutton."

"A glutton!?" Maggie squealed. "You made me run for an hour, you starve me to death then say I'm a glutton!?"

Puck was suddenly faced with a choice. Either talk it out with Quetxalcoalt like a gentleman, or be petty about it and make a show.

He chose to be petty.

He chose to be very petty, popping a baseball bat out of nowhere. Petty and with an anger that seemed all consuming. "Oh, that's it. That's it! I've had it with you people! You ruin my wedding and drag me to the all the way to Greece just to annoy the crap out of me!"

Quetxalcoalt had a last minute plead. "I thought you hated the fighting…!" 

"I'm beginning to see there's a charm to it!" Puck replied as he lunged at him with a bat.

Titania shook her head as her servant went right at him with the bat. Quetxalcoalt, still bound with the spell against harming Puck, could only run or fly. Puck was insane, without any shreds of class or coherent thought, lunged after him, like a madman on a rampage. Every piece of psychotic impulses wrapped in one package and sent off with a bow.

Quetxalcoalt ducked as Puck lunged at him with the bat. _This is just perfect! I can't even fight back!_ He remembered thinking. 

" 'Help me kill you' !" said Puck, "Remember that?"

He remembered all too well, as Puck finally swung fast enough that Quetxalcoalt couldn't avoid being hit on the head. He saw the moon, the stars, and whole universe and that was _a lot._

Quetxalcoalt, wisdom god, suddenly noticed how low he had sunk by engaging in mortal combat with the half-deranged Puck. All he could do was block his moves, he couldn't fight back.

"Gods," said Titania, disappointed, "another festival that ends in a fist fight…"

While Puck tried, without any sense of style, bat to death the sun god Quetxalcoalt, Titania pulled aside Puck's fiancée, who was sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm going to die!"

"No, you're not." Titania assured as she snapped her fingers. "You are healed. Now," she gestured to Puck and Quetxalcoalt, "It's time to finish this business." She sighed them added like an after thought. "Why does it all boil down to Hecate's Festival? Always. Why can't we have a normal celebration with out someone trying to kill someone else?"

The fight was now airborne as Puck chased the sun god all through the forest. They could hear Puck yell some colorful obscenities as his voiced echoed in the forest. 

"Mrs. Titania, you have to stop this." Maggie pleaded. "This is all because of that Oberon guy!"

She turned to her and asked, "What was that again? This is all Oberon's fault?"

__

Don't look so shocked, a little voice told Titania, and she found herself agreeing.

**__**

An hour later, as humans reckon time

The Marriott Hotel and Resort  
Syracuse, NY

Quetxalcoalt, Puck, Vesta, Maggie, and just about everyone else who were somehow connected to the whole affair were all gathered back at the hotel, Xanatos' suite, to be precise.

Xanatos and family waited patiently for all to start. The gargoyles and Elisa muttered among themselves. And Oberon was also there, snobbish and amused at the entire spectacle, while his wife shot him a look that he didn't seem to acknowledge.

Puck sported a black eye and ragged clothes; with an unfriendly gaze that wordlessly deterred Xanatos from offering first aid. Quetxalcoalt looked as he'd been put through the grinder. Maggie sighed deeply like an abused dog with no illusions. And Vesta was just there, wishing she were somewhere else.

They were all there, sitting in a row, which wasn't the best of ideas for the temperature of the room was actually getting higher every time they got together.

"So…" spoke Titania, with an authority that kept them from jumping at each other's throats, "You broke up a festival in my honor. Scared the living daylights out of my female attendants. Almost set fire to an entire forest… Not to mention all the damage you've done to this hotel… what do you have to say for yourselves?"

There was an unusual silence, then Vesta spoke up. "It was all his fault." She pointed at Puck.

"How is it my fault, 'wife'?!" he snapped back.

"If you hadn't married me 200 years ago, this wouldn't have happened!"

"If you hadn't got me drunk, I wouldn't married you!"

"If you hadn't acted like an over-excited hormonal teenager looking for cheap sex, I wouldn't had to knock you out with alcohol just to get you off me!"

Puck was suddenly out of insults. "You…you … stupid… girl!" At his lack of words, Vesta boasted in silent victory.

"I see," Titania continued, "Then you are both guilty."

"What!?" Vesta snapped.

"It's all her fault, my lady!" Puck continued.

She pointed at Puck, "You, for not controlling your sex drive, and you," she pointed at Vesta, "for encouraging him."

Vesta went wide-eyed at that charge while Puck commented, "That's right, Vesta. You can't mambo with just one person!"

"How dare you dishonor my wife!" Quetxalcoalt barked as he took out his huge sword, "You shall pay!"

Titania held him back before he could do anything. "Back away. That's an order!"

Quetxalcoalt piped down, and shot Puck a look, while the fey stuck out his tongue to him.

Titania sighed and continued, "All right. The way I see it is that all of this began when my lord Oberon appeared with Puck's so-called marriage certificate."

"That's right, Titania dear." Lord Oberon spoke up, with a gleeful smile as he handled the paper to her. "It's all right there."

Lady Titania inspected the paper thoughtfully while Xanatos chimed in, "Excuse me, lord, but why don't you simply grant them a divorce and end this business?"

"Oh, it's not so easy." He replied, hypocrisy so obvious in was almost tangible. "I don't know how you humans do it, but the divorce process in our land can take awhile."

_I bet it does…_ Xanatos thought sarcastically as he scoffed. _I can't believe how petty he can get…_

"I'm afraid I must concur." Said Titania, somewhat disgusted in taking Oberon's side.

"But my lady, you must do something!" Puck pleaded at her. 

"There's nothing I can do---" 

"That's right." Oberon interrupted. "Absolutely true."

She gazed at Oberon. He seemed so full of himself now that he had victory at his hands. The rest of them moaned in defeat. He sneered to himself, since he had no intention of sparing Puck of this grief. _Why the hell did I marry him?_ She thought, but decided to look for the answer some other time.

For today all she could do was knock him out of his pedestal.

"As I said before my lord interrupted me," she continued with an acid tone Oberon didn't appreciate. "There's nothing I can do… but point out the obvious."

Puck looked up with hope in his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"A loophole, my son." She replied with a smirk, as Oberon suddenly looked worried. "Don't you see? You were drunk when you signed this! Both of you!"

"Meaning…?" Vesta asked excited.

"Meaning, that according to our laws, you weren't of 'sound mind and judgement'." Oberon's jaw dropped to the floor. "This marriage paper in void and useless. Like Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra, you were so drunk, it doesn't even count."

Everyone shrieked in joy at the realization they were worried over nothing. "I'm not married! I'm not married!" Puck repeated over and over again, to convince himself it was true.

"SILENCE!" Oberon suddenly commanded, and everyone shut up. "That proves nothing! A deal is a deal. Bad luck if he was drunk!"

"But there were no witnesses." Titania snickered, "That's two reasons."

"I was a witness!"

"You need two witnesses!"

"There was the lawyer!"

"The lawyer doesn't _count _as a witness."

"Ah…!" He suddenly remembered, "There was the _wife_ of the lawyer!"

Puck spoke up and snapped, "That lawyer was gay, you know it!"

"Besides," Titania continued, "Lawyers don't have the power to marry. You need a judge. That's three reasons. Need I go on?"

Oberon opened his mouth. Then closed it again.

The whole lot of humans, gargoyles and feys stared at him, waiting for the next dazzling response. What techniques, reply, strategy or reason he had for not joining this two in holy matrimony. He was to speak now or forever hold his peace.

He held his peace.

****

EPILOGUE

__

Avalon  
Sometime later

In his throne room, the high and mighty Oberon looked out the window, lost in thought. His court was long gone; they knew better than to hang around during one of his 'moods'. Meanwhile, he waited for Titania to show up. She was late, as usual.

"My apologies, milord." She replied. "I was busy elsewhere."

"Oh, I see." He responded dryly.

"In fact, I brought something for you, my liege."

Oberon actually brightened up with that. He had been so moody lately, the stench of defeat over him like a shroud. Because of…'him'. He didn't even want to say his name. Nobody dared to, anyway. Which was good for him. But dammit, it was a technicality. They beat him with loopholes. Twice, if you count the incident with the halfling Alexander.

"Really?" he asked, interested and slightly flattered. "What is it?"

Titania smiled pleasantly and handled him a little plate covered with aluminum foil and an envelope.

Wedding cake.

"I hope you enjoy, milord. Chocolate. Your favorite." She said with an ear to ear smile as she vanished.

Sadistic woman.

He groaned softly. Out of morbid curiosity, he opened the envelope too. It was a photograph of the human Maggie Watkins and his ex-servant's alter ego, 'Owen Burnett', smiling happily at the camera.

In the back of the photo, there was a message. "Honeymoon in Puerto Rico. Wish you were here."

Oberon tried not to think all those negative thoughts that overflowed him. He took a series of deep breaths. He didn't wanted revenge. This was just a little annoyance. He was just a little nobody. He **_was just a little--_**

No. No revenge.

No time, no facility, and quite frankly, no patience.

****

FIN

Author's note: Weird, ain't it? By far, the most anime-tainted fanfic I've ever written, or will write again. It's got no meaning or moral, but I am rather proud of a few things:

The Fairy Ring: yes, there really is a legend about it. If you step inside a fairy ring, you can't eat or drink anything, or when you came back to the real world, years would've passed. I'm guessing that's the basis Greg Wiseman used for Avalon, only without the food. Think Rip Van Winkle.

All the dirty tricks and loopholes they use: They are tricksters, after all. It works hard, but a loophole is a loophole, no matter how forced it is.

Well? What'd you think? Flames? Fame? Money? Stuff? E-mail me at: [paganj@caribe.net][1] and tell me what you think. J

((small note from Ordeysia. If you hate the spelling or if there was some weird grammatical error I didn't catch, [like those idiot things called syntax, whatever _that_ is] e-mail me at: [winturbine@compuall.net][2] I tried to catch them all))

(June 23, 1999)

(Last revision: January 27, 2001)

   [1]: mailto:epagan@caribe.net
   [2]: mailto:winturbine@compuall.net



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